The Way It Should Be
by LivingImpaired
Summary: If I were writing Buffy and Angel, this is how it would be. Features the perfect solution for B/A and B/S shippers, Dolye, Joyce, and the evil that is Riley! Riley lovers beware!
1. Something's Here

"The Way It Should Be"

Authors:Living Impaired (Living Dead Girl wrote the shower scene, which I am eternally grateful for.)

Rating: PG-13 (There's violence and some bad words.Unfortunately, there is no nudity whatsoever.Oh, OK, maybe a _little_ nudity.We got some shirtless guys, and one gets hot and wet.However, for suspense sake, we shall not disclose who, exactly, gets naked.In fact, we have no clue why we're even telling you this for.If you've watched either show for any amount of time, you should already know who it is.)

Summary:This is a two-part pilot for a series, beginning with a hypothetical ending for _Angel._This was _mostly_ written in between _Buffy_'s season four and season five (_Angel_'s seasons one & two), so it selectively ignores characters like Glory, Ben, Bumpy Minion Demons, etc, while happily including characters like Dawn, the Host, etc.We'll probably explain it later, it we think about it.Then again, we could just get lazy and not.If you don't like it, feel free to sue us. (See disclaimer.) Anyway, this is our opportunity to kill off all the characters we hate, (or, at least, most of them), get together everyone who we want to get together, and poke a little fun (OK, a lot of fun, at points) at both shows.Further note thatthere are some minor unconventional couples, but nothing gross.We can only hope that you, like Joss Whedon, have a good sense of humor about the whole thing.If you don't like it, please refer all complaints to:

Fidel Castro

6294 Maniacal Despot Dr.

Havana, Cuba 

DISCLAIMER:We don't own any of the characters in this story.We sincerely wish we did, because then we would: A) Be rich, B) Be nicer than 20th Century Fox and let _Buffy_ stay on the WB instead of moving it around like stupid poofs, and C) Be rich.But alas, we do not own either _Buffy_ or _Angel_, and are instead writing pathetic little fan-fics.In conclusion, please don't sue us.If you do decide to do so anyway, send the subpoena to the afore mentioned address.

_And now, finally, the story:_

Prologue

It was a bright, sunny day in Sunnydale, California.Little Timmy was playing in his yard with his beloved puppy named Sam."I love you, puppy," he told the dog, while thinking about how wonderful life was.Sure, there were wars, poverty, murders, crime, televangelists, and ugly, ugly people, but there were perks to life, such as…

It was at this point that little Timmy and Sam were tragically devoured by a regurgitating Frovlax demon.

_  
_ Episode 1 Something's Here

_"By the pricking of my thumbs,_

_Something wicked this way comes."_

_—Macbeth_

December 23

Angel sat at home, with a very unhappy look on his face.He reached out for the phone receiver, hand hovering in midair above it.He shook his head and quickly snatched his hand back.After a few more agonizing moments he finally said, "To hell with it," picking up the phone and dialing the number by heart.

"Come on, come on.." One the other end, someone finally picked up the phone."Buffy?Please, don't say anything.I just want to say… I love you.But I can never be with you!"The was a loud click as Angel slammed the receiver home.

"Why do I _do_ that?" Angel asked out loud, before shrugging and walking off.

Riley sighed as he hung up the phone.Rolling his eyes, he went off to find Buffy.It took a while, but he managed to run into her in a nearby cemetery.

"Buffy?We need to talk."

"Can this wait?I'm just a little busy," she grunted as she beat up vampire that used to be Parker Abrams.

"No," he insisted, "it can't."

"Fine!" Buffy yelled as she slammed the stake home.

POOSH!The evil Parker was no more. 

Buffy looked at the spot the vampire used to be with distain."Wasn't that great in the sack anyway," she muttered before turning on Riley."OK, what is so damn important?"

"Angel called."

"Oh, crap, not again."

"Could you please call him back and tell him not to _do_ that?!I'm sick an tired of getting calls from him telling me that he loves me!"

Lieutenant Jed McGlade was in a dirty, stinky, smelly, old alley, wearing a very unhappy face.He was doing this for several very good reasons.One: he was in a dirty, stinky, smelly, old alley.Two: he was friggin' cold.Three: the informant was late._Well don't expect a big tip from me, _he thought unhappily.

_Stupid Kate._McGlade had no clue why the detective was too good to meet her own friggin' informants.He often found himself torn between thinking that she was creepy—after all, she did have this whole, Scully/Kolack thing going on—and thinking that she was just a complete moron.Of course, he did have his moments when he thought she was… desirable and he wanted to get in a hot tub with her and have rabid-weasel sex, but being a guy, that had nothing to do with her personality.

OK, he was back to hating her again.Just how long did she expect him to wait?McGlade figured that if he waited for just ten more minutes, he could lie, say he was there longer, and just leave.What could she do?

Just then he heard a noise.Turning around, he grumbled in exasperation, "Now what the hell took you so…"He was cut short, finding himself staring into the face of a lithe brunette."Oh, I'm sorry.I thought you were someone else."He did a little laugh, hoping that she found his British accent charming.He was by no means from England, but he found that faking cool accents got him into women's bedrooms easier and faster.He just hoped this stranger was no different.He took the opportunity to size her up.She looked almost frail in a black, vintage lace dress, her long, black hair falling behind her back.So she was a Goth.He could dig it.

"Looking for someone?"She smiled seductively.

McGlade's brain—the one in his head, not his pants—finally engaged."Hey, what are you doing out in a place like this at this ungodly hour?"

"Looking for someone."Her smile broadened."Miss Edith told me he was here, then I found your friend.Is this him?"She held up her hand, and cradled in it was a decapitated head. Blood mostly marred the person's features but the look of terror was easily evident, the mouth still gapping open in surprised horror.

McGlade recoiled in terror, his mind spurting out a million different thoughts as the bizarre female, who had only seconds ago been the object of his lustful affections,turned the face of the head towards herself and smiled at him, saying sweetly, "He's soooooo cute, isn't he?I thought Miss Edith would like him, so I decided to put him in a little doggy bag and bring him back for her.But perhaps Miss Edith would like you better." She tossed aside the bloody head and smiled again, but this time it was anything but seductive.

He moved his mouth soundlessly, petrified, as the once lovely woman before him transformed, her face mutating into a monstrous mask. She lunged at him, and before he could even blink at the action, her fingers were digging into the flesh of his arm.She held him in a muscular grip that seemed impossible for a woman who had earlier looked so fragile and delicate. 

Lieutenant McGlade managed to let out a taut gasp as he watched her mouth open to see sharp, dagger-like fangs, which in a flash sunk deep into the thick skin of his neck, cutting off any other sound he might have made.

Angel wandered around his room, bored.He had just called up Buffy, so he couldn't do that again. Then he remembered that he had told Cordelia he would come over later.

"You look horrible!" she greeted him as he walked the door.

"How sweet of you to notice," Angel muttered.

"No, I just mean, why are you always so gloom and doom? No, that wasn't any better.Let's start over.Hi, Angel.Merry Christmas.Could you please not mope quite so much, it's detrimental to my Christmas spirit.No, wait…"

"Cordelia, don't bother.I'm just in a bad mood.Christmas just isn't my holiday."He furrowed his brow in thought."None of them are come to think of it."

"So you had a bad Christmas a few years back!Not all holidays are bad!There's Halloween… unless, of course, you turn into the thing you dressed up as.And, um, there's Valentines Day… unless, of course, you idiot boyfriend manages to screw up a love spell and almost get you killed.And there's birthdays, unless, of course, someone drugs you into being helpless and locks you in a scary house-place with a scary vampire…"

"Cordelia."

"…or a friend of yours turns evil and tries to kill everybody…"

"Cordy!"

"Yeah?Oh, yeah.I guess I should stop trying to cheer you up now."Cordelia sighed."Look, I'm sorry, Angel.I'm just not myself tonight.Actually I'm acting disturbingly like old me.I guess what I'm trying to say is that…" Cordelia was cut off, screaming as a migraine with pictures raced through her head.

__

Cordelia regained conscious to find herself on her couch, a warm towel on her forehead.She winced in pain as she tried to get up, only to feel the pressure of a hand on her chest, encouraging her to stay down.

"Are you all right?"It was Angel's voice.

Cordelia groaned."How long was I out?"

"Only a few minutes."

"The important thing is that she's OK."This time it was Wesley who spoke.

She put a hand to her head."It knocked me out.That's new.And I _drooled_ again.Ugh!"Cordelia wiped a little bit of drool from her chin with the back of her hand."Sometimes I _hate _these stupid visions."

"Do remember what you saw?"

She winced again, trying to remember.Lots of red stuff… Angel… screaming… a face…"Ohmigod!" she yelled as she sat upright with a jolt.

"What did you see, Cordelia?"

"There was blood everywhere.Someone hurt Angel, and I was screaming…"

Angel put a comforting hand on hers."Did you see who it was?"

"Yes," Cordelia said, her throat suddenly dry."Drusilla." 

Invisible to the others, something lurked in the shadows of Cordelia's apartment.Its skulking was not so much about not being seen—only Denis, the ghost haunting the place, could sense it, and even then it couldn't truly be seen.It was in the dark because darkness better fit its mood.

While the vampire seemed fairly calm about what Cordelia had just told him, she was, for a better word, freaking out, and telling Wesley about her past experiences which had "traumatized her for life".Without realizing it, the presence smiled to itself.

"Hold on a minute!You weren't here last time Drusilla showed up!You try dealing with the threat of her hanging over your head for a little while, then you can tell me to calm down.She killed a Slayer!_A Slayer_.As in, someone very much like Buffy."

Wesley grimaced."I was a Watcher.I know."

They were cut off by a pen and a pad of paper floating towards them.Phantom Denis gently placed the pad on Cordelia's lap._Something's here_, the pen wrote.

"She's here already!" Cordelia shrieked."How did she know where I live?"

_Not vampire._

Angel asked the pen, "What's here, Denis?"

_Something dead._

"Maybe Denis' mom came back," Cordelia suggested.

"Is it another ghost?"

_Maybe… No._

"Where is it?"

There was a very long pause as the pen hovered perfectly still in midair.

"Denis?" 

_It's gone now._

"Do you have any idea what it could have been?"

_No._The pen paused before adding,_ It felt almost familiar._

__"Familiar how?"

_I don't know._Pause._Then again, I could be wrong._

Drusilla daintily wiped her mouth with a black, lace handkerchief.Drusilla had learned long ago—OK, Spike patiently taught her—that white handkerchiefs just didn't work out.Blood stains were the curse that haunts all vampires interested in looking color coordinated and not-icky, ruining an outfit in no time.So, she had a black hanky.

She sighed.Now that her appetite was somewhat subdued—she had, after all, already eaten two people tonight—she could concentrate on the more important things in her unlife:being schizo.The psychic waves rolled over as she communed with whatever made up the psyche of the world.Lost souls, wandering demons, and other things that defied naming made up an almost static in her mind.Every now and then she could hold on to a thread just long enough to get something useful, but mostly it was the useless psychic ramblings that drove her further into insanity.

She loved it.

As Dru began to drool in happiness, a very strange thing happened.The psychic din in her brain vanished for the first time since her sanity broke.A blissful silence settled in her mind.

The silence was suddenly shattered by a voice._"I've been waiting for you."_It took her a moment to realize that the voice was in her mind.It just seemed too real, a quiet, soothing, and yet commanding sound, and with an Irish accent to boot.

_"Your pain, your power, and your madness has called to me.They are qualities of chaos and I am the Harbinger of Chaos."_

Dursilla was many things, but she was not the sharpest stake in the duffel bag.She had no idea what this guy was talking about.

"Your words are like a carousel.They make me dizzy."(Translation: Huh?)

The voice sighed._"Let me rephrase:I want to end the world.I want you to help me.If you help me,Good Things will happen to you and Bad Things will happen to everyone else.Understand now?"_

Drusilla smiled.She had been doing that a lot tonight.It was turning out to be a very good night."You're a very bad man.Miss Edith would like you."

_"What?Oh, yeah.The doll thingy.Well listen, to end the world I kinda need to be in it, and since I'm not, I'm going to need a body.So I need you to get me a body.And then we can end the world, which will be good.I mean, bad.But in a good-for-us kinda way._

_"And I will, of course, make it worth your while."_

" 'Beware strangers baring gifts.'It was what my mummy and daddy used to tell me.Then they got their throats ripped out and don't talk to me very often anymore.What is your gift?"

The was a pause, as if it was considering what to offer._"I will give you what you want most, but could other wise never have."_

"You'll give me him?"It was half statement, and half question, as if she knew the answer already.

_"He will be yours.Forever.To do with as you like.That and more."_

Drusilla resumed drooling happily, but was doing it in a more maniacal fashion.

_"I guess I'll have to take that as a 'Yes'."_

It was proving to be a very, very good night.

Angel had just come back from Cordelia's place, but only after she had insisted numerous times that she A) was completely and totally OK, and B) would kick him out if he asked her if she was OK one more time.So he had just left.

They had quizzed the ghost for a long while about the entity in Cordy's apartment, but didn't learn anything more substantial.Denis promised to keep a look out, in case it came back, and warn Cordelia if it did.What Angel didn't tell Cordy, was that if it weren't for the ghost's quiet vigil, he would have never left her alone. 

As he let himself in, carolers sang Christmas songs across the street.He frowned.He often found himself hating this time of year.It was all about love and being with family, neither of which he could ever truly have.It was nothing short of depressing.At least this year he wasn't alone.He did have Cordelia and Wesley, so life wasn't _that_ bad.Angel still felt depressed.

He began to take his shirt off—he really needed to take a shower and relax—and on his way to the bathroom he pressed the play button on his answering machine.

_"You have three new messages and no old messages,"_ the machine said in a computerized, yet female voice.Angel wondered absently why answering machine voices were always female._"BEEP.Uh, hello?This is that PI guy who investigates weird stuff, right?Well, um, I think something is, like, following me or something, and I think it wants to **eat** me…"_Angel pushed the delete button, cutting the message off.Cordy had had a vision of the guy shortly before he had even called and Angel had saved him all ready.He shuddered at the memory.That man had to be one of the most annoying people he had ever met.But more importantly, how the hell did that guy get his home phone number?

_"BEEP.Hi.This is Kate.I just want you to know that I have just personally killed another blood-sucking, cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night fiend.She reminded me of you!Just thought you should know.BEEP.It's Buffy."_Angel perked up._"I was just calling you to ask you…STOP CALLING ME! __I know that Riley is just a cheap replacement for you, and, of course I'll always love you, but I can never be with you.So quit calling and reminding me!CLICK!"_Buffy had apparently slammed the receiver down so loudly that the answering machine picked it up.Angel hadn't even known that was possible._"BEEP.You have no more messages."_

Angel smiled as he went into the bathroom.He had the distinct impression that Buffy had just broken her phone._Serves her right for slamming down so hard._
    
    Slowly Angel finished removing his shirt from his heavenly sculpted body, his smooth chest glistening under the dimmed lights in his bathroom.He tossed the shirt aside and little by little eased off his pants and underwear as well, leaving him gloriously naked.He turned on the water in the shower to full blast, the heat of the water creating heady vapors that wrapped around his chiseled form.
    
    Once he was sure the water was at the right temperature he entered the shower and pulled the curtain shut, allowing the water to roll deliciously all over his body freely, caressing every part of his luscious flesh.The shower rained down on him like tiny little fingers itching to leisurely explore and roam all over his hard, perfect body.The heat and feel of the pounding rains of water helped to ease the tension from his taut muscles and let him relax.
    
    Angel found the thick bar of divinely scented soap and slowly worked up a thick, rich lather between his large, capable hands.He began to rub the cleansing foam he'd made along his body, making sure to run over every inch of his flawless skin.He let out a deep, shaky sigh as the heavy anxiety that tended to hound him all day crept out of him and he began to sink into sweet, sweet serenity.
    
    His soapy hands ran over his slick, silky, smooth chest and brushed along his nipples quickly and enticingly as he washed himself thoroughly.His soft and yet impeccably rough fingertips feeling out every godly toned muscle in his athletic body. By now he was completely hot, wet, and naked in the shower.The water washed the foam from Angel's top half and gradually, ever so dear-God gradually, he worked his hands and the lather down his taut stomach and lower to his warm, soft… (CENSORED!)
    
     
    
    A Note from the Authors: Considering Living Dead Girl has passed out on the floor while writing the shower piece and may possibly choke to death on the drool that is still escaping from her mouth as she continuously mutters 'Hot, wet, naked Angel' over and over again, we are afraid and sadly dismayed to inform you that the shower scene will not be completed and you will have to unfortunately go on with your little lives and continue reading the story from here on out.We apologize for this inconvenience and to those of you who had trouble reading the scene as it was overflowing with too many adjectives.We now return you to our regularly scheduled fan fiction.

It was with a mix of relief, purpose, and a little disappointment that Drusilla walked down the dark, crowed streets of late night LA.The physic din that her mind lived in returned once her patron left, which was both a comfort of familiarity, and a dissatisfaction.It was almost nice having her mind to herself for once.But feelings were pushed away as she set about her goal.There were things that her master needed for the ritual, and had to get them.Drusilla didn't even notice how uncharacteristic her single-minded determination was.

Dru took in a deep lungful of air, relishing the night.She found that the nocturnal events of the city were far more interesting than anything that could possibly go on during the day.Gangs, drug dealers, and prostitutes crowded the street corners, spotted with the occasional undercover cop, vainly trying to clean up the streets.The police always tried to blend in—after all, their lives depended on not getting their cover blown—but she could always tell.They stank of righteous deception.She passed the bottom feeders with and air of royalty, and the crowds parted before her.It was as if they sensed that she was the only true predator among them.

She passed a group of carolers that seemed out of place amongst the dark underside of the city, then noticed a black limo passing by.Sometimes they had to drive through the bad parts of the city to get to the good parts, or perhaps it was some lonely businessman looking for a little Saturday night entertainment.Her suspicions seemed to be confirmed as the limo pulled over to the curb, but was she was almost surprised as the back window rolled down and the person inside spoke to her.

"You look far too nice for this part of town."

Consciously she thought he was a letch, but the moon—who was currently advising her on the situation—hinted otherwise.Either way, she thought that the best course of action was to toy with the stranger."Mummy often told me that looks can be deceiving," she drawled.

"I heard that myself.A person who appears to be a lovely woman could actually be a dangerous… vampire.Figuratively or, perhaps, literarily."The man in the car chuckled.

The voices of the netherworld buzzed excitedly in Dru's head.They knew him.A smiled played across her face."And a supposedly normal lawyer could be working for those such creatures."

Limo guy had meant to surprise her with his knowledge of what she was, and the arrogance not to be impressed by it.However, it was he who was now taken aback, and he quickly admonished himself for it.Research had briefed him, so he should have known better.He leaned forward and opened the door."Join me?"

"I'm not supposed to ride with strangers… Lindsey."

She didn't surprise him a second time."Trust me.I'll make it worth your while."

She joined him.

"Can I offer you anything?" he asked, as he poured himself a brandy, using his left hand to do so.The motion was a little awkward; he clearly wasn't born left-handed.But he was now, the stump where his right wrist should have been was a silent testament as to why."Perhaps something to drink?"

She made a point of checking out his neck.Once she was satisfied that he a little nervous, she responded, "No thank you.I just ate."

He nodded."I'm not quite sure how much your 'gift' has told you about myself and who I work for, but I represent Wolfram and Hart.We're a law firm that caters to the needs of special people such as yourself: vampires, demons, drug dealers, and the like.We have heard a great deal about you, and given that you have apparently just relocated to the area, we wanted to welcome you and offer our services."

"Well, I am all alone and I need a place to stay…" she trailed off, looking around the hotel room.It was in one of the most ritzy hotels in town, and it was obviously one of the most expensive rooms the place had to offer.The furnishings made sure that everyone who went in there knew it.A theme of soft creams and light golds was carried throughout the suite, from the off white carpet to the gold framed, full length mirror. A Tiffany vase overflowed with at least three or four dozen yellow, long-stemmed roses.

Dru figured that the only reason anyone would go through so much trouble to impress her was it these people wanted to align themselves with her, _really_ badly, and she wasn't entirely sure that they'd take no for an answer.The question was, what to do about it?An image of Lindsey's perfect neck suddenly snapped into a very unnatural angle came to mind.Dursilla fought against the urge to carry out the fantasy, deciding to learn more.

Unaware of his guest's thoughts, Lindsey grinned internally, but made sure it did not reflect on his face.No sense giving away anything that might give her an advantage._Score one for the home team._"As you can see, that has already been taken care of."

Dursilla face went slack, and she looked as if her mind was very, very, far away._Is she drooling?_ Lindsey thought in disgust, and wondered what to do.He decided to wait patiently for the vampire to snap out of it, which she eventually did."You want me to hurt him.You want me to make him scream."

Lindsey held up the stump."I want you to make him pay for this."

"You're going to help me."It wasn't a question.

"That's what I'm here for."

December 24

It was Christmas Eve, and Buffy was spending it in the presence of friends and family.This should have made her had that warm fuzzy feeling that makes you feel the full weight of your age, yet only five years old simultaneously.Buffy just felt guilty.

Riley was helping her mother and Giles cook dinner in the kitchen, while the others snacked on spiced nuts in the living room with her.Buffy had helped earlier, but Joyce had kicked her out."To many cooks in the kitchen."Buffy would have thought it was just to be alone with Giles, if it wasn't for Riley staying to help.

Now she hung around with the rest of the gang, pretending to finish decorating the tree.Willow held hands with Oz, while she talked excitedly with Tara.Things were so much better after Oz had found a cure, and, while it took the three of them a while to get over… well, everything, it was really sweet.It was nice that they could all still be good friends.Of course, Xander and Anya were bickering like there was no tomorrow.Anya had just made a comment that was… inappropriate for public consumption.Xander gently reminded her the difference between public and private conversations, angering Anya, who said that Xander lectured too much.The whole thing would have been funny, if it wasn't so irritating.

No, what made it funny was Spike's sarcastic running commentary, with Dawn laughing hysterically in the background.

Buffy still couldn't believe that Spike would even want to be here, much less that her mom would even let him come.Spike claimed that it was for the food, but Buffy considered that highly unlikely, given that vampires couldn't actually taste food in the same way they could.The Slayer often suspected that Spike was secretly fond of her mother… but not in a gross way.More like, Spike thought she was OK, for a human.Not that he would ever admit it.But why else would he endure a night of _The Scooby Gang Christmas Special_?

Speaking of her mother, Buffy was still not quite comfortable with the fact that her Watcher was dating her mom.He was like a father to her—in reality, more like a father than her biological one.Despite what she may think, she kept her feelings in check and her jabs down to a minimum.Everybody needed someone.Who was she to criticize their choice in relationship partners?This attitude was, of course, contingent on the two of them keeping their squishies down to a minimum in front of her.

Speaking of the devil, Joyce came in, still wearing oven mitts."I'm out of ginger for the gingerbread cookies.Could one of you possibly go out and get some for me?"

Riley came up behind her."I'll do it."

"Oh," she said, surprised."I thought you were busy with that casserole."

He shrugged."It has to bake for a while anyway.Besides, I wouldn't want to interrupt anyone."He said the last part with a purposeful glance in Xander and Anya's direction.They had momentarily paused their argument, though the word "argument" scarcely did the conversation justice.Despite all the time Xander had spent training her, Anya had never learned appropriateness.Buffy remembered a time when they used to criticize Cordelia for having no tact.The difference between the two was that Cordelia used to say stupid things because she didn't believe in tact, while Anya said stupid things because she still didn't understand what tact was.

Buffy was thankful for the respite.Things had reached the point where Anya had blabbed so much, that the only way that Buffy could have known what Xander was like in the sack in greater detail, was to sleep with him personally.Anya gave away far more than Buffy ever wanted to know.

She was so desperate to get away that she was about to volunteer to do the errand herself, but before she could, Riley had kissed her on the cheek, said good bye, and shot out the door.

Xander and Anya resumed bickering.

"Oh, come off it!" Spike snapped, interrupting them."Look, you're not fooling anyone.You both—sick as it is—love each other, and you're going to kiss, make up, then excuse yourselves to go shag like rabid weasels.So just sod off, and stop blurting out the details of your nightly sexcapades. I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say, we're sick of it."Spike looked at the others for confirmation. "Right?"

Reluctantly, Dawn, Willow, Oz, and Tara raised their hands.Joyce and Giles, from the kitchen said "Yea" in unison, then chuckled softly to themselves.Spike looked at Buffy expectantly.

"I've got to go," Buffy stammered and shot upstairs.

Everyone frowned and looked at each other, but it was Oz who voiced their thoughts.

"Is she OK?"

Buffy was decidedly **not** OK.For the past several weeks, with increasing frequency, she had been having dreams.More specifically, dreams about and with Angel.Dreams that were so real, that if she hadn't known better, she'd have said they were prophesy dreams, or actual memories.Dreams that were rapidly beginning to venture from PG-13 in to R territory and into what lay beyond.They were disturbing her, but what made her feel worse was that she was, on some dark level, enjoying them.

Now, every time Riley touched her, she felt a pang of guilt.It wasn't right for her to be lying asleep in the arms of her boyfriend, while dreaming about living happily ever after with her ex.Now, with the message she had left on Angel's answering machine, she really felt like shit.What had she been thinking?Did she really mean all those things that she had said? 

Yes.She did.And that was what felt worst.

She had finally come to a conclusion about what the dreams meant.No matter how much she tried, how many guys she dated, and how long she dated them, she'd never get Angel out of her system.It was like Spike had once said.They could fight, hate, and ignore each other to the day they die, but it would never stop.She'd never get over losing him.

Buffy just hoped she wouldn't have to lose Riley too.

Spike stood just outside the door to the bathroom.He could smell her wonderful perfume through the door, and it was driving him insane.

He was beginning to regret coming.Just being in her presence made him feel like…It made him feel things he had never felt before, with anyone.But watching her with _him_—the stupid, over-grown, GI Joe poof—was more than he could bare.It was hard to tell who was more irritating, Angel or Riley.No, wait, it wasn't.

He cold hear her begin to cry softly.In that moment, there was nothing Spike wanted more than to see Riley dead.Make that mutilated.

He had to do something, so he slammed on the door with his fist."You know," he shouted, "you're not the only person… entity in this bloody house.Quit hogging the loo!"

"Go away, Spike."

"Let me think."He paused for a beat."No."

Buffy ripped open the door, traces of tears on her cheeks."This is my house.I will spend as much time as I like, in any room I like.If you don't like it, you can go back to your crypt and spend the holiday alone with your soaps."

Spike was silent for a moment while he looked into her red eyes."Which one is it this time?"

She opened her mouth for a moment, shut it, then settled for, "What the hell do you need anyway?Do vampires even use the bathroom?"

"That's a very good question."

They both stared at each other for a long time, neither satisfied with the answers they had gotten to their questions.Buffy eventually brushed past Spike, leaving him alone.

The air was warm and comforting, like a mother's loving embrace.A soft breezed played with Dru's hair, reminding her partly why she liked Sunnydale so much.However, she wasn't here for the pleasant climate.She was looking for a body.Her master demanded it, so it would be done.

It had provided her with a ritual, which she had been gathering the ingredients for.As she was ingredient-scavenging, she noticed that the spell was incorrect.The spell was supposed to be for permanent possession, but the ritual her master gave her wouldn't hold for more than a few minutes.So she did a little tweaking.No need to tell her master that now, of course.Wouldn't do to be lecturing It on how to do magic.She'd just surprise It later, after the spell was complete.It would be so proud of her.

She was nearly ready, and only one ingredient remained: the host.She had thought about breaking into the home of a movie star, the type that was both attractive and well built, like Harrison Ford, Seth Green, or Glenn Quinn.She shot down the idea.The security was just too much to bother with, besides, people were sure to put a great deal of effort forth to get whoever she took back.It was just too much to mess with.So, the million dollar question remained:Where to find a worthy host?

Then she remembered Sunnydale, and its seemingly endless supply of very hot guys.She thought back, remembering all the attractive males she had seen, and typically, killed there.Then there were the others, like that Xander friend of Buffy's and her Watcher.Then there was Spike and Angel.Spike _and_ Angel._Now, that's a thought._Drusilla had begun to daydream before she realized it.She snapped out of it, chiding herself._No naughty fantasies until after you end the world._OK, back to the host hunt.

Just then, the answer appeared right in front of her.He was young—not as attractive as she would have liked—but he was well muscled.

Riley never had the chance to scream.

Nothing.That was the exact amount if information that several hours of research and reconnaissance turned up about Drusilla and the mysterious visitor in Cordelia's apartment.While the others tried looking through police reports to find any crimes with "Drusilla" written all over it, Angel went to just about every demon hangout in town, seeing if anyone or anything had heard something.The end result: zilch, nothin', nadda.It was discouraging, to say the least.It was at times like this that he wished he could go to the Oracles. 

Finally, after Cordelia reminded him for the thousandth time that this was Christmas Eve and they were supposed to be off and not fighting evil, he decided it was time to take a break.So he treated them to Chinese. 

_Year of the Dragon_ was perhaps the most unique Chinese restaurant in the Los Angeles area.What set it apart was not its authentic eastern cuisine, nor that it catered to… the supernaturally gifted.Its trademark was, strangely enough, its fortune cookies.All the waiters were not only Chinese, but physic, or, more specifically, had precognition.While the authentic Chinese Toscaniza Demons—what they lacked in the evil department, they made up for in their cooking abilities—continuously made up fresh cookies, the waiter or waitress, having seen their costumers' future, would write a corresponding fortune, and insert it into the cookie.Thus, the restaurant was wildly successful among the kinder, gentler, supernatural population of the city.Good food, fresh cookie, accurate fortune: what more could you want out of a meal?

The restaurant was decorated in creams and golds, museum-quality statues and paintings making it seem even classier.This was about one of the only demon hangouts that could be called "classy."Along the far wall there was a mural of Chinese dragons both protecting and wrecking havoc upon humanity.Angel thought it was an appropriate metaphor, all things considered.The focus of the painting was a gold dragon that stood atop a mountain, raining golden light down on the others.

The only place in the painting that wasn't illuminated by the dragon's gold light was a cave in the mountain, beneath its feet, which was the entrance to the kitchen.Their waitress, a petite woman named Ling, came out of the passage, fortune cookies sitting on a tray in her hand.She placed the tray on their table, and did the Vulcan Mind-Meld with Angel—or, in other words, talked in Chinese at warp nine for several minutes.Finally after Angel paid and Wesley thanked her (still in Chinese), she left.Cordelia would have felt left out, after all, she wasn't a member of the I Speak A Billion Languages Club, but she was excited about her fortune.

The tray was a rich mahogany, and all three cookies had a little label with their name on it.Fortunately for Cordelia, it was in English.

Cracking open her still-warm cookie, she unrolled her fortune, reading it aloud: " 'You will find happiness with an old love.'I'm getting back together with Xander?That sucks!"

"Remember the rest of the fortune," Angel teased."Whoever you get with, you're going to _like_ it."Cordelia shuddered.

Wesley read his fortune." 'You are British and you have a cool accent.But you are not as cool as Giles.'That… that wasn't a fortune!"

"No, Wesley.You see, while I got a fortune cookie, you got and observation cookie," Cordelia said, happy that, although she didn't get something she liked, at least Wesley didn't either."What did yours say, Angel?" she asked, popping a piece of cookie into her mouth.

Angel shrugged."The usual.'Unhappiness and misfortune will infest your pathetic existence for all eternity.'See?Nothing I didn't know already."

He let the slip of paper fall from his hands and drop on the tray.Most people liked to keep their fortune as a souvenir, but they had eaten there so often, the magic wasn't as impressive as it had been the first time.In truth, Angel was disappointed.He had vaguely hoped that they might have gotten something useful out of the cookie, but they had unfortunately gotten one of the waitresses that was somewhat lacking in talent.The good news: It had given them a break from the Nancy Drewing.The bad news: Until Cordelia had another vision, he had no clue what to do next.

Suddenly he had a thought. _"I have just personally killed another blood-sucking, cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night fiend.She reminded me of you!"_The vampire—she—had reminded Kate of himself.She.Maybe they couldn't find anything about Drusilla's activities because she had already tragically died.A long shot, but a possibility, none the less.

The problem was, that to confirm this, he would have to call up Kate.He really, really, did not want to call up Kate.

Kate was pissed.McGlade did not report back in, and was still missing.No one thought much of it, thinking that he had bedded some hot chic, and forgot, or didn't bother, to come in.It wasn't as if similar things like this hadn't happened before with this particular officer.Nobody bothered to ask her if she had seen him of knew where he might be, and, alas, she had mysteriously forgot to mention his little task to anyone else.

As she sat at her desk, the detective could overhear a conversation between two uniforms at the water cooler.The discussion was to the general effect that Internal Affairs was conducting an investigation into McGlade's extracurricular activities.

A few years ago she might have agreed with them.But not now.She had seen to much to buy it until she saw it.If her suspicions were correct, that meant that she was partly to blame.She should have known better than to send someone like Jed McGlade on an errand, but he was the only one she could have gotten to do such a stupid task.McGlade was a letch, but if one knew how to go about it, that characteristic could be used against Jed to get him to do whatever you wanted.Just casually hint at the possibility of sex, and he would roll over and eat out of the palm of your hand.No need to tell McGlade that the reason she couldn't meet with her informant herself was that she had a hot date with Lindsey.The really sad part was that he had had to cancel.Business-lawyer-thingy.

She sighed and stood up.Even if McGlade had neglected his duties for a piece of tail, he would have shown up by now.Time to go check the alley and see if there was a body.

Every city had one: the nasty part of town were there seemed to be nothing but trash, the homeless, and gangs.A large part of Los Angeles consisted of just such places.Strangely, this particular alley, one the McGlade had gone to act as proxy for her, was generously supplied with trash, but short on the people.There was, however, a great sense of wrongness about the place that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention.

Instinctively, Kate drew her gun, clicking off the safety, and holding it out in front of her in a two handed grip."LAPD.Come out with your hands up."

There was no sound in the alley except the faint rush of cars in the nearby streets.She held her position for a few more moments, maintaining a shooting stance.After a few minutes, she began to feel foolish, and her arms began to hurt.

She slowly lowered the gun until it was pointing towards the ground, clicked on the safety again, but did not re-holster it.She drew out her flashlight and held it in line with the barrel of her gun, so that whatever she pointed the gun at, it got illuminated by the flashlight.

She proceeded down the alley, checking out every shadowed area, until a pool of liquid came into the light.Blood.Tensing, Kate followed the trail with her light, finding the source: a decapitated body, minus the severed head.To her horror, she found the head twenty feet further into the alley, along with McGlade's corpse, face down.Two neat bite marks were on the left hand side of his neck.

A rush of angry heat came to her face.The thing that did this was going to pay.She would see to that.

Just then, a noise came from behind her.Twirling around and bringing up her gun, Kate turned to find herself face to face with a strange woman, who promptly backhanded her.She fell to her ground, white spots scattered around her vision.She looked up at her attacker, only to find her talking to an antique porcelain doll.

"Isn't nice, Miss Edith?" the woman asked the doll."This place has room service."

Those were the last words she heard before it all went black.


	2. The Other Half

Episode 2

Episode 2

The Other Half

_ _

_"There are many kinds of love in the world,_

_but never the same love twice."_

_--F. Scott Fitzgerald_

December 25

Christmas songs played on Cordelia's CD player as she reached under the tree and pulled out a present.The note said simply, _"For Cordelia.You have to put up with so much, the least I can do is throw you a Christmas present once a year.Angel."_Cordelia happily ripped into the wrapping as Angel and Wesley looked on.Finally, after shredding tissue paper in a frenzy, she emerged with her prize: a black, Coach backpack-style purse.Inside there was a bottle of over-the-counter, migraine strength, painkiller.The gift giving continued.Cordelia got a gift certificate to her favorite clothing store, courtesy of Wesley.She, in turn, reciprocated by giving him a sweater that "accented his facial features."

Finally, it was Angel's turn to be on the receiving end of things.Wrapped in festive, red and green paper, complete with gold and blue stars, the box wasn't exactly large, but it was just big enough to cover his lap.Uncertainly at first, he ripped open the package, finally ridding it of all the coverings.

"It's a box."

Cordelia smacked him on the arm."You're supposed to open it, silly."

He promptly followed her suggestion, revealing mounds of tissue paper, and inside, three pairs of plain, black socks, and one pair that had little coffins and bats on it.Angel couldn't help but frown at the gift."Socks?"

"Well, don't blame me.What _do_ you get the vampire that has everything?"She shrugged."I know from long, painful experience that blood and demon goo just never comes out.Dry clean it till Judgment Day, and you're still living with those stains.So, I figured you could use a few spare socks."She picked up a black pair."See?It even matches your entire wardrobe."

Angel showed her the other pair."What?" she retorted."I thought it was funny.Besides, that's not all I got you."

"I'm almost afraid to look," he replied dryly, but shifted through the tissue anyway.At last, he felt another box, and pulled it out."It's a furby." 

"It's kinda from both of us.We thought that having a pet would be good for you, but it's very low maintenance."Cordelia patiently took it from him, released it from the box, and put in the batteries.It immediately began to spurt gibberish at Cordelia happily, announcing its name to be something to the general effect of "Loo-Loo."

She handed it to Angel with a smile."The good news is that it likes everybody, even a brooding, creature-of-the-night like you."The moment the mechanical fur ball was in his hands, it gurgled, "I love you."

Wesley smiled."It's cute, don't you think, Angel?"

At this point the furby seemed to get angry, saying (and this is the best approximation of the noise), "WHHHHHHHENT!"

Angel hurriedly put the toy on top of his new socks, a safe distance away from him."I've been to Hell and back.That thing scares me."

Cordelia was about to say something scathing, but Wesley cut her off before she could."So, Angel, how about exchanging our presents now, eh?"

A few minutes later Angel and Wesley were sitting, happily examining the presents they just received from each other.Wesley had gotten a tremendously old book, and he was thrilled.("_The Writings of Armashkhan_!I've wanted this forever!How'd you know?")Meanwhile, Angel was engrossed in another ancient book that Wesley had gotten him, which was written in some prehistoric dead language Cordelia had never even heard of.She was guessing it wasn't even a human, which made her wonder just how many languages those two knew.

She sighed as she examined her new purse."Figures you two would get excited over some boring, smelly, old books."All she got in response was a couple of disinterested grunts from the guys' direction."You know, it's too bad Gunn couldn't be here for this."

"Yeah," Wesley said, not looking up from _Armashkhan._"It's rather unfortunate that he got eaten by that regurgitating Frovlax demon."

"Yup," Cordelia chirped, while heading into the kitchen."I'm getting some hot chocolate.You guys want anything?"

"Got any eggnog?" Wesley asked.

"Sorry.I've got hot chocolate, hot chocolate, and hot chocolate.If you don't like hot chocolate, I've got hot chocolate."Wesley nodded a yes, and she turned to Angel."How about you?"

"I would, but I wouldn't be able to appreciate it," he replied, glancing up from his "new" book, _Vriskhi vi le Roshansha di Vichi Ni-kash_.(Roughly translated: Demon Goo and How to Kill the Demon That Excreted It.)

Angel watched as Cordelia made hot chocolate for two, and his two friends sat down and enjoyed the season.It took him a moment to realize that he was actually enjoying the holiday himself.In fact, this was the very first time he could actually remember having an pleasant Christmas.Oh, he was sure he had a nice one when he was, say, five years old, but he couldn't actually remember it.

_Surprisingly enough, _he thought,_ I'm happy _not_ fighting the forces of darkness, for once.It's nice to take a break._For the first time in his existence, looking at the Christmas tree gave him—gasp!—a warm, fuzzy feeling._This is actually turning out to be a nice Christmas…_

The doorbell ringing jarred him from his thoughts.Cordelia got up to answer it, and the next thing they knew, Buffy rushed in, shouting, "Angel, you've got to help me!Riley's missing!"

After a few minutes, they managed to calm her a bit, make her some hot chocolate, and get everyone sitting down.

"Missing, how?" Wesley asked.

That was probably not the smartest thing to say.Buffy was in one of those frantic, my-boyfriend-is-missing-and-anything-that-gets-in-my-way-is-going-to-get-its-ass-kicked moods, which no amount of chocolate was going to dim.It also didn't help that he was Wesley, so he naturally got his head bitten off—figuratively speaking."Missing as in he goes for groceries, and doesn't come back.Missing as in no one has seen him.Missing as in the fiend that took him is going to die _a lot_!Do you know of any other kind of missing?"

"Loo-Loo" answered for him."Boom!Ker-Pow!Bye, bye!"

"Who got the Furby?"

Cordelia shook her head, saying, "That doesn't matter.Look, I still don't understand what this has to do with us.I mean, he probably got eaten by your, average, ordinary, everyday Hellmouth nasty.It happens."

"Cordelia," Angel warned.

"What?Oh, yeah."

He redirected his attention to the Slayer."She does have a point.If he went missing in Sunnydale, LA's a bizarre place to go looking for him.Besides, I would think I'd be the last person you'd go to for help."

"Cordelia's not the only person who gets visions."

Cordelia frowned."I didn't think Slayers got visions.I thought you had those dream-thingies."

Buffy rolled her eyes."Same diff."

"Actually, Buffy's right," Wesley said."Both Cordelia's visions and Buffy's prophesy dreams are guidance from the Powers That Be, though Slayers' dreams do tend to be a tad vague…"

"It was clear enough."She began to tick off the items with her fingers: "A not-happy Riley, a not-happy Me, a not-happy Angel, and a far too happy Drusilla.Now what the hell is going on in this town?"

"That's kind of a long story—" Angel began.

"Drusilla's in town and we have no idea where she is, what she wants, or what she's doing," Cordelia explained.

"—and, OK, maybe not so long, after all."

The Furby: "Goochie, goochie!"

"All right, that's it," Angel said, grabbing the plastic fur ball, and cramming it into a nearby box.They could still hear it squawking muffled protests (WHENT! WHENT! WHENT!), but it was better than before."Now, where were we?"

"Oh, well, my vision had Drusilla in it, so she must have kidnapped him."

"Speaking of the Scooby Gang, why aren't they here?"

Buffy hesitated."Well, um…That's a good question."

The Scooby Gang had split up to search for Riley, but nothing had been found, so after catching a few hours of sleep, everyone was gathering at Giles' place to coordinate their next move in the great Riley search.

Giles heard the door open and close."Buffy?" he asked.He walked into the living room/foyer to find Willow standing there, with a dismal look about her."What happened?Where's Buffy?"

Willow handed him a piece of notebook paper, on which there was a hastily written note in Buffy's handwriting.Giles read it aloud for the others' benefit.

_I had a dream and I know where Riley is.Gone to get him.Don't worry, we'll be fine.Merry Christmas, _

_Buffy_

"That's not important now," Angel said, filling the void left where Buffy had trailed off."Knowing who took Riley doesn't help if we can't find out where they are."Angel frowned as he considered his options.He could follow up on his hunch with Kate, but that would require actually talking to Kate.Of course, there was always karaoke.

Angel picked up the phone and dialed.

The Sex Pistols were blasting out of the speakers, but Spike didn't hear it.He switched lanes without signaling, causing the driver he cut off to swerve into another lane.Someone blared their horn, but it was ignored as Spike pressed his foot harder on the gas.

While the others had gone out in search of Riley, Spike had decided to say behind.The more people that were out looking for him, the more likely he would be found, and Spike didn't want that.

In their panic, no one had noticed that Spike hadn't gone home, so he helped Joyce clean up (after all, it wins brownie points with the mom, and she might pass that on to Buffy).Joyce was finishing up in the kitchen, so Spike wandered into the family room, looking at the tree.

It was beautifully decorated, complete with a gold star on top.They had never gotten to the gift exchange, so there were still dozens of presents, from one Scooby member to another, sitting under the tree.Spike sighed as he bent down to examine the packages.He was unsurprised to see that none of them had his name on it.Well, except for one.Other presents since been dumped on top of it, and he gently pulled it from the bottom, laying it in clearer view for Buffy to see when she got home.

_To: Buffy _

_From: Spike._

It wasn't much—he didn't want to attract too much attention—but perhaps it was enough to get her to notice him for more than some disgusting vampire.It was times like this that made Spike wonder how Angel had pulled it off.

It was then that Spike noticed it.While digging out his present to Buffy, he had unearthed a small package that he hadn't noticed before.Addressed to him. 

From Buffy.

Spike knew that it was time to do something.

Angel hung up the phone.

"Well?"

"Detective Lockley isn't in."

"Lockley?Would this happen to be the same cop that was such a pain in the butt last time I was here?"

Angel nodded."Anyway, she apparently went looking for a missing officer."

Buffy read the rest off his face."What else?"

"The detective specializes in the 'unusual' assignments.She's earned the nickname 'Agent Scully.' "

"So she wouldn't have gone after him if she didn't think there was something supernatural to it," she finished for him.

"Exactly."

"Know where she went?"

Angel looked worried."Not yet.We'll need to make a couple of stops first."

"I'm going in with you," Buffy said firmly.

The panic was evident on Angel's face."No, you're not."He frantically looked to the others for support.

Taking their cue, "Oh, yeah.Nasty, dirty place."

"Full of demons._Ugly_ demons."

"Yeah, and smelly ones too.Really unpleasant."

"Not that there's anything interesting to see in there."

"No, not at all.Very boring."

"We avoid it at all costs."

"Oh, yeah, hate the place."

"Did we mention that it smells bad?"

Buffy smiled."Well, I am big girl.I think I can handle a few ugly, smelly demons.Besides, it can't be very dangerous if he's taken you guys in before.I'm going."

Angel opened his mouth for rebuttal, but she held up her hand."We don't have time for this.I'm going.Period."

Angel was suddenly glad that he didn't have any circulation, because he knew he would have been blushing. He led her through the doors of the bar, paid for their cover charge, and walked in.

Buffy took stock of the place.A bar was along one side of the wall, across from a stage, and in between tables and chairs were scattered about, inhabited by various demons.Despite what Cordy and Wesley had told her, the place was clean, and didn't smell bad at all.However, all these observations were pushed aside by her horror at what was happening on stage.A blue demon that vaguely resembled a giant bug, was singing _Pretty Fly for a White Guy_—badly.

She turned to Angel."This is a demon karaoke bar?"

He never got a chance to respond, because a green-skinned, red-eyed demon approached the two of them, smiling."Welcome back.I see you brought a friend, and the Slayer no less.You do keep interesting company."

"You know him?"

Angel's panic was rising, but the demon ignored him."Lets just say he comes in once in a while.One of my best patrons.Oh, where are my manners?My name's the Host," he said, extending his hand.

She took it."Buffy Summers.Nice to meet a demon that's not trying to kill me, though—if you don't mind me asking—are you some kind of empath demon or something?"

"Something like that.Problem is, I can only read well if the person's mind is 'open'—and I don't mean in the 'to new possibilities' kinda way.Your friend here is very, very introverted.Makes things hard."He turned to the squirming vampire."You really care about her opinion of you.It's closing you off more.I think it'll take at least two songs this time, so what'll they be?"

"You have to sing?"She looked at the demon, and he nodded.She looked back at Angel.She had never seen him so scared, so she thought quickly."Fine, then I'll sing with him."

"What?"

"You're doing this as a favor to me.If you have to go up there and sing, the least I can do is go with you."

Angel didn't know whether to be thankful, or more embarrassed, but the demon just smiled."Even better.Look, I can see you're in a rush, so you can go up next.I'll even have the bartender whip up something to help the two of you, on the house."

Hell was probably just like this: croaking out _YMCA_ with your ex in a bar full of demons.She'd have to ask Angel once the second song was over.

They both fled the stage as soon as they finished _Wild Horses_, exchanging their microphones for the slip of paper with the address.The Host smiled, put his hand on Angel's shoulder, and whispered in his ear, "She's the other half."

The vampire looked at him quizzically."The other half of what?"

Angel was ignored as he chattered on, "Oh, and try to get that waitress at _Year of the Dragon_ fired.That fortune she gave you was a load of crap."He paused for a moment, then added, "Ling was on to something with Cordelia and Wesley, but, like I said, way off on you."With that, he walked off to greet his next victim without another word. 

Angel did his best not to look at Buffy on the way back to the car.

Angel was looking in the rearview mirror to see if Wesley and Cordy were keeping up on the motorcycle, when Buffy flicked her wrist, the stake springing out of the contraption smoothly.She clicked it back into place with a smile."I have _got_ to get myself one of these."

"Keep them.Merry Christmas."

"Thank you," she said, a little too heartfelt.She recovered, saying, "Giles is going to flip when he sees them.You know, new toy and all."Buffy flicked out the one on her other arm, and slid it back."Think we have enough weapons?" she asked, indicating the back seats, both filled with an arsenal, some things so nasty looking that they defied naming.

Angel took his eyes off the road long enough to examine her face."A guy's got to have a hobby.Might as well be a practical one."

Buffy suddenly found herself thinking very inappropriate thoughts, and she fidgeted a little under the weight of his stare.She looked away, pretending to examine her gift, saying, "Did you made these?"Conversation.Yes, conversation was good.Anything to get her mind off… things she couldn't have.

"Like I said, got to have a hobby."

She looked back at him."Don't you do anything besides this?"She gestured to indicate the weapons behind them, but Angel knew she was referring to something more.

"Not anymore.I… don't exactly have a life."

Buffy tried to decide just how to read into the comment, gave up, and asked, "How long until we get there?"

Angel signaled, and turned into the alley, turning off the engine as they rolled to a stop."Right about now."

They had just stepped out of the car when the others glided up on the bike.Wordlessly, everyone reached in back, taking whatever weapons they felt most comfortable with.Angel opened the trunk, grabbing out a couple of swords.One he slid into the spine sheath along his back, the other he threw to Buffy, who carefully slid it into an identical sheath that she had borrowed from him.The problem was that Buffy was a much smaller person than the one it was made for, so although straps were tightened as far as they would go, it was still a loose fit.But it kept her hands free for the crossbows, so she could deal.

Cordelia loaded up on crosses and stakes, a gigantic super soaker in hand.While it wasn't the coolest weapon, no vampire would laugh once it got a face full of pressurized holy water.Wesley was likewise armed, adding only a small crossbow that could be held in one hand.

They were ready.

Riley had never been so scared.He couldn't see very well, but from what he could, things were very bad.A single uncovered light bulb hung from the ceiling, giving just the barest of illumination.He was bound and gagged, sitting in a circle that had been drawn in blood on the floor.Symbols were scrawled both inside and out, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was the a main ingredient in whatever the spell was.He could hear more than see figures beyond the faint illumination the bulb provided.Finally there was the creepy, disembodied voice, which, oddly enough, seemed to have a Irish accent.

While some human guy looked on, a vampire—who the human had referred to as Drusilla—picked up an antique-looking knife, holding it before a small, white dove in her other hand.The bird squawked helplessly, struggling to free itself from her hand.Then, in a quick, deft movement, she plunged the blade in, spilling blood into the circle that had been carefully drawn on the floor.Riley could feel the prickle of power along his skin like ants, as Drusilla began to smear the warm liquid across his bare chest.

One of the figures, a lithe, blonde, female vampire, stormed up.There was an air of command in her voice as she snapped at Drusilla."Hurry up!" eliciting an angry growl in response.

_"What's happening?"_

__"Angel's here, and he's got the Slayer and his sidekicks with him."Riley heard a great deal of venom in her voice, particularly when she said the word _Slayer._

_"Interesting…Uh, well, never mind them.Let's get on with it.Shouldn't you be burning incense or something?"_

Riley squirmed harder at the sound of the voice again.He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.OK, Buffy and Angel were here.He was going to be saved, though at this point, he would be more than happy to be rescued by Spike, just so long as he got rescued.

Drusilla lit the incense, and Riley gagged at the pungent odor.

_"OK, good.Now let's cue the chanting…"_

She began to chant in some strange tongue, and Riley began to feel sick.He didn't know whether it was the nasty smelly stuff or the spell, but he did know that he needed to be rescued, and now.

Suddenly a loud banging resonated throughout the warehouse, as the steel door came under assault.

Drusilla chanted faster."Hail, Hecate, goddess of the mystic.Hear my plea.Grant me the power.Hail, Hades, god of the underworld.Hear my plea.Allow me take from your realm.Hail to the Old Ones, the ones from which I sprung.Hear my plea.Give me your blessing.I make these offerings in your names, and the names of anyone and anything else that will let me finish this bloody spell before they come over here, stop me, and kill me." 

The door fell with a loud crack as Buffy kicked it in.They were immediately met with dozens of vampires, all rushing at them at once.Wesley and Buffy took out the three nearest with their crossbows, before discarding the weapons: there would be no time to reload.Cordelia and Wesley began to lay down a suppressing stream of holy water, as Buffy drew her sword and decapitated another vampire in one, smooth motion.Meanwhile, Angel had already taken out three vampires of his own with the battle ax, careful to avoid the water guns.

More just came to replace the fallen.

A vampire ducked out of the way just in time, and Angel's ax hit the concrete hard, snapping the handle.The vamp came back for another pass, leaping in the air… and impaling himself on the broken ax handle.Wesley and Cordelia ran out of water at the same time, and were now fighting hand to hand with their stakes and crosses.Both had now drawn what were either long knives, or short swords, depending on point of view.Angel's sword was already out as he jump-reverse kicked a vampire in the chest, before following through with his blade.

The light was blinding and immediate.A white world of light replaced the one that was previously there, and for a moment, it was like all time, reality, sanity, just ceased to exist.All sound seemed to stop, save for Riley's screams, then there was nothing but silence.

Buffy and Angel's eyes met, and they both knew.In unison, they sprinted towards the center of the room, leaving the Wesley and Cordelia to deal with the others.Three vampires had stayed with Dru and Lindsey, acting as a last line of defense.The leader turned to face them grinning, and caused Buffy and Angel to stop dead in their tracts.

Darla's smile brightened at the look of shock on their faces."What's a matter, Angel?Not who you were expecting?"

"You were what Wolfram and Hart raised in the box."

"Yeah, and it looks to me like you're still hanging with that bimbo.Have to say, I was hoping that something might have done her in by now, but we can't always get what we want out of life, not can we?"

Buffy shrugged."I don't know…"Without warning, Buffy whipped a stake out of her belt, and threw it at her, landing squarely in her chest.Darla looked down at the piece of wood in shock, and as she turned to dust, the last thing she heard was Buffy's voice: "I wanted you dead, and _I _got what I wanted.Twice."

There was no time to savor the victory, as Drusilla leap onto Buffy's back with a scream of rage. The Slayer tried to throw her, but the vampire held on, fingers going for her eyes.Buffy could feel the nimble digits trying to get in her eye sockets, and she yelled in frustration.But, before she could do anything, Buffy felt the fingers, as well as the heavy weight on her back, disintegrate.Buffy stood up and brushed off some of the residual Drusilla dust, turning around to face the vampire.

"Thanks, Ang…"

It was Spike.

He looked down at the pile of dust he had made, saying, "Serves you right for dumping me, you stupid bent!Not so funny now, is it?"

Wesley and Cordelia had finally caught up to them when Buffy asked, "Not that I'm not grateful, Spike, but what are you doing here?"

He held up a stake."I was helping!Wait a minute…Did I just hear the word 'grateful' in the same sentence with my name?"

"Err…" she began, "Thank you, Spike.You helped alo…Hold on, how much is this going to cost me?"

"Just your gratitude."

"Let me get this straight: You killed Drusilla, your sire, to save me, and all you want out of it is my thanks?"

Spike looked indignant."Is that so hard to believe?"

Buffy, Angel, and Cordelia looked at each other, then said in unison, "Yes."

Spike was about to say something else, but looked past them, seeing Riley."Hey, if it isn't Captain Cardboard.Seems you've been found.New look for you too."

The others turned to see what he was talking about.

Riley—or what used to be Riley—stood up slowly, and they could see that his body had changed, and was still changing.The skin was turning colors, slowly forming like a bruise.As the skin turned an odd shade of green, prickles began to poke out of the skin all over his head.

He looked like a human cactus.

Angel spoke first."They turned him into a Bracken demon."

"Oh, hi Angel.Do ya recognize me?"

Buffy run over before anyone could respond, knocked the demon over, and straddled it, punching it in the face repeatedly.She began to scream, "Get out of him!"This probably hurt a great deal, seeing as Buffy had managed to produce some brass knuckles, seemingly out of nowhere.

The demon was screaming too."Help!Get her off of me!She's going to kill me!"

"Buffy, let him go," Angel asked nicely.

"Like Hell," she said, and punched again.

"Buffy, do you remember Doyle?Cordelia once introduced him to you when you came to the first office.Remember?"

The question was so unexpected that she stopped mid-punch."What?"

"Doyle: Irish, half human, half Bracken demon, about this tall," Angel indicated Doyle's height with his hand."Doyle."

That earned him a raised eyebrow."Vaguely—though not the demon part—but what does that have to do with anything right now?"

Angel pointed at the Riley-demon."That's Doyle."

Buffy looked down at the demon, then back Angel."Sure looks like Riley… if he was a green pincushion."

"Trust me on this."

Buffy got up, eyeing the demon as he did the same.He smiled weakly."So I'm not going to die right now?"

"Not yet, but you better start talking."

"Oh, good.'Cause the last time I died, it wasn't fun.Yeah, well, you know I did the whole being dead thing for a while, and then the Powers That Be came up to me with this mission.Involved borrowing a body for a while, and doing stuff.The catch was that I had to get someone to cast the spell to bring me into this world, so I had to find someone that was psychic, yet very gullible.Drusilla fit the bill perfectly, so I filled her head with all of this 'I'm going to end the world' nonsense, and she bought it.So here I am.

"Oh, and don't worry about the body.The spell is only temporary, so whoever it belongs to gets it back."

Cordelia walked up to Doyle slowly until she was eye to eye with him, before saying, "Prove it."

Doyle thought for a moment, then reached out, grabbing the sides of both her arms and bringing her into a kiss.After a moment, she pulled away and slapped him across the cheek."Do you have any idea what happened to me the last time you did that?" she shouted."Those visions _hurt!_"She kissed him again."It was worth it.God, I've missed you."

"Gee, I don't know whether to be scared or… I missed you too."Doyle noticed Wesley."Who's he?"

"I'm Wesley," he replied absently."You said something about a mission?"

"Oh, yeah.Well, the Powers That Be have decided that Angel's done a bang-up job with the whole superhero thing, so they've decided to reward him."

"Reward me?How?"

Doyle reached out and touched Angel's arm, and the place where their skin touched began to glow.Suddenly Angel jerked out of the hold, collapsing to the floor.He could hear Buffy yelling his name, but it seemed like she was a long way off.Everything was distant, unimportant, a hazy cloud of reality.Then the world rushed back in a sharp snap, and he could feel the heat begin to flow into his veins, and throughout his body.A steady beat throbbed in his ears, and he could feel hair brushing his face.He opened his eyes to find himself being cradled by Buffy, her face etched with concern.

"Are you all right?"He nodded faintly as she ran her fingers across his face lightly, tracing down the line of his jaw, down to his neck, gently pressing her fingers in."My God, you have a pulse.You're human."

He groaned."Oh, this brings back memories."As Buffy carefully helped him to his feet, Angel suddenly seemed to get very alarmed."Wait a minute, Doyle, this can't work.What about what the Oracles said?"

"Oh, yeah.The Powers That Be were taking about that.You see, they decided that as long as you kept up the good work, it wasn't really necessary for you to be a vampire.So while you get a pulse and all, you get to keep all your superpowers, and stuff."

"So he can still heal like before?" Buffy asked.

"Sure.I mean, he's not _just_ like a vampire.Sunlight won't make a dent, same with crosses, and other religious stuff, but if ya stake him or cut his head off, then he does the big poof.You can get sick too, and you're healing thingy won't cover that, but no biggie.But, all in all, pretty cool, huh?"

Angel rubbed the residual headache away."Yeah."

Doyle suddenly remembered something."By the way, they said to warn you: 'Don't screw this up.'You see, if they don't like what you're doing, then they take it back.Sorry."

Angel barely heard him, realizing that something was missing."Guys, wasn't Lindsey here earlier?"

Conveniently, Lindsey chose that moment to run up, slugging Angel in the face."You killed her, you son of a bitch!"

Buffy subdued him with a quick punch to the face, as Angel wiped a bit of blood from his lip."Let me guess: Kate, two puncture wounds on her neck?"

Suffice it to say, what came out of Lindsey's mouth at that moment was nasty enough to make Spike blush. 

"Lindsey, you idiot, I didn't do anything to her.Dru must have eaten her."

"What?Where is that bitch?I'm going to kill her!"

"Too late," Spike said, running some dust between his hands.

Angel tisked."This whole, manipulating and killing people: it's not so funny when it hits home, now is it?"

Lindsey was pissed and made sure it showed on his face, punctuating the expression by flipping Angel the bird.The amused smirks he got in response clued him it to the fact that he had chosen his right hand to make the gesture, so all he was doing was angrily showing them his stump.Quickly, and as smoothly, as he could—though there really is no cool way to recover from something so stupid—he showed Angel the middle finger he still had.

"This is just a tip, Stumpy, but next time, you might want to think about what hand you use to do that from now on.What you did just now," Angel nodded to indicate the stump, "It ruins the effect."

Lindsey's response was, once again, far to vulgar to put down in its entirety here, but it was roughly equivalent to this:

"Go copulate vigorously with your mother, who is not only a female dog, but incredibly hideous, grotesquely obese, and gets around.Furthermore, you are a (there was another reference to mother-son incest) illegitimate child born of wedlock, and you suck all around.You cut off my (word synonymous with a great deal of dirty sex) hand and you're going to pay for AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Lindsey and Buffy—who was still holding him back—screamed together, the space around them rippling as if there was a wall of heat between them and everything else.Angel ran to them—and slammed into the undulating barrier.It took him a moment to realize that the boundary coincided with the circle drawn on the floor, and that both Buffy and Lindsey were inside it.

He spun furiously on Doyle."What the Hell is that?"

"I don't know!That wasn't supposed to happen.For that matter, I should have left this body by now.Something must have gone wrong with the spell."

Spike joined Angel, smashing into the force field."I'm guessing that the stupid bent tinkered with that sodding spell your cactus friend cooked up."

"Guys," Doyle interjected, "FYI: That's a tear in reality.It's how I was able to get here."

"So?"

"Essentially, there is no way of helping Buffy and the other guy, nor is there a way of predicting what will happen to them."

"There's nothing we can do?"

Doyle thought for a moment."Pretty much."

Suddenly, a second flash of light erupted from the portal, filling the room with its blinding presence.Then, as abruptly as it happened, the light imploded in on itself and the portal blinked out of existence with a pop.

Angel opened his eyes to find himself on his back once again.He rolled onto his feet with a groan, only to see that Spike was ahead of him, looking around frantically and calling out for Buffy.Angel was quick to do the same.A swift glance around saw Cordy, Wesley, and Doyle—whose transformation must have been completed, as he no longer resembled Riley—were all accounted for.

He felt the beginnings of hysteria creep in.The only light bulb in the whole warehouse had blown out with the second explosion, and although the sun was beginning to rise, it was still nearly impossible to see anything.He began to think of the horrible possibility that Buffy may not have survived.It seemed a cruel trick of fate that as soon as his dreams of humanity and forgiveness had been granted, the one person he wanted to share it might have died.Then all thoughts came to a screeching halt as he caught sight of the crumpled body on the floor.

He was by her side in an instant, brushing the hair away from her face.Angel found himself able to breathe again just as Spike caught up with him.

"Is she all right?"

"She's fine, just knocked unconscious."

Spike frowned when he saw her."What happened to her face?"

Angel looked at her a second time, amazed that he hadn't noticed it before.A small, white scar marred her lower lip, as if it had been split years before and had never healed quite right."That wasn't there before…"

"Buffy's scar—I mean, the bite marks on her neck, that is—they're not there anymore."

Spike was right."She's not Buffy."

"What?"

"Whoever this person is, she's not the Buffy we know.She's someone else."Angel gently placed the woman's head back on the ground, making sure she was in a position that wouldn't hinder her breathing.With that, he got up and resumed his search.

"Uh, Angel?"

"I'm a little busy now, Spike."

"I think she's awakAGHHH!"UnBuffy reached out, grabbing Spike by the throat."What the Hell just happened?Where am I?"Spike just continued to make gurgling noises, clawing at her fingers.Then she suddenly let go, opting to gape at Angel instead."What the…You're dead."

"Not anymore," Spike interjected, rubbing his throat.

He was ignored."What do you mean, dead?"

"I saw you die.That vampire staked you in the back.I think I killed him…Don't you remember?"

Doyle seemed to be the only one not confused."Oh, this must be some alternate Buffy."Noticing the puzzled expressions he was getting, he clarified."If things had gone differently, this is what our Buffy might have been like.The reality vortex must have brought her into this universe."

Angel took a deep breath, trying to calm down."OK, now for the sixty-five thousand dollar question:Where is _our _Buffy, and how do we get her back?"

The other Buffy waived her hand."Hello?I'm still here.What about me?"

"Yeah, that's right," Spike added."We need to figure out how to send her back, and, while we're at it, send me with her, because a world without Angel is where I need to be."

"You don't like him?" Other Buffy asked.

"Are you kidding?Can't stand him!So whiny and broody… If the stupid poof head is so bloody unhappy with his pathetic existence, why doesn't he just do the world a favor, kill himself, and save us from his incessant moping?Why, were you all snuggly with him and your world?"

"Oh, God, no.I don't, well didn't, even know him that well, but even then, I didn't like him much…"She suddenly caught on to the implications of Spike's question."Oh, please don't tell me I—err—she dated him… and oh, I think I see her."

Buffy, the real one, was limping towards them slowly, before being assisted by Angel."Someone please tell me what just happened."

Doyle caught her up to speed, as Buffy examined her other self."OK, so now that we know what happened to me… us, what happened to Lindsey?"

The world was in chaos.Willow cursed loudly as Oz impaled her on a protruding piece of wood, and all around there was pain, screams, and death.Lindsey didn't know what had happened, and at the moment he didn't care, as he looked franticly for an exit. He turned to find himself face to face with a vampire that closely resembled a giant bat.

The Master smiled."Interesting trick, Slayer.I don't believe your kind is known for their shape shifting abilities, so I'm guessing personal talent.What a waste."Then, in one, smooth motion, the vampire grabbed Lindsey's head and twisted, smiling at the satisfying snap.

Buffy stared at the smeared circle on the floor.She looked up, meeting the gazes of Doyle and the second Buffy, then threw up her hands in a sudden, jerky motion."Well, no more hole in reality!Looks like the two of you are here to stay!"There was a wild look in her eyes, leaving the others at a loss for what to do.

Doyle spoke first."Look, Buffy, if I had any idea what would have happened…"

Buffy cut him off with her hand."I don't want excuses.I don't want regrets.I don't want 'Maybe if it had happened differently' or 'If I had only known.'What I do want is answers.What happened to Riley and how do we get him back?"

Doyle stared at her for a moment, carefully choosing his words.Finally: "I don't know, and to be honest, there's no way of getting him back without knowing exactly what she did.I'm sorry."

"So that's just it?Poof!No more Riley?"Slowly, Doyle nodded his response.

Angel reached out to her tentatively.She collapsed against him, too numb to play tough.It was official now, and maybe it was shock, but she didn't feel as bad as she thought she would.Oh, the pain would come.With grief, it was inevitable.But as she leaned into the warm comfort of Angel's arms, watching the room grow lighter with ambient sunlight, she knew—not now, but soon—things were going to be all right.

Epilogue

A few months later...

Doyle leaned against the wall next to Cordelia and surveyed the new office with an appraising eye."What do you think?"

"Looks good."

"Well, I _know_ that.We just spent the better part of a week fixing it up, so it better look good.I was actually referring to our chances of making it."

"We did just fine in Los Angeles.Why shouldn't we do well here?"

"LA has a much bigger population.More people to help."

"So?LA didn't have a Hellmouth.Here, there's a higher concentration of people that need help.Besides, now I'm doing the same stuff that the Scooby Gang does, only _I_ get paid for it.Gives me some mud to throw a Xander next time he's being a jerk."

Doyle snaked his arm around her neck, and she leaned into him."Not to mention the fact that your boyfriend is much more handsome than he is."He began to dip his head closer to hers.

"_Far_ more handsome."

"And you're much cuter than Anya."Their lips brushed.

"Of course," she breathed, then finally kissed him.It wasn't a gentle one.

Doyle broke off first, out of breath.His voice came out in a husky tone that only Cordelia knew he was capable of."You know, Buffy and Angel should be keeping themselves busy for a while, patrolling and stuff.They probably won't even be back tonight.And Wesley, he's not due in until at least tomorrow night…"

Cordelia smiled as she caught on."Yeah, and Angel's new desk _is_ rather large."

"And, after all, there's no reason anyone would ever have to know…"

"I don't know if it was right leaving Doyle and Cordelia to finish up like that.I mean, I don't want them to think I just decided to ditch them right before the job's done," Angel said, looking absently off into the woods beyond the cemetery.

Buffy shrugged."You didn't ditch.No ditching.You just left them to go do slay-like stuff, which, I believe, is somewhere in your job description.Anyway, they're two grownups.I think they can handle themselves.Besides, how much trouble can they get with just the two of them?"

They both looked at each other, simultaneously deciding not to answer that particular question aloud.For a long while, they walked together in silence.The wind rustled in the trees, and somewhere off in the distance a dog barked.

Buffy stopped abruptly, turning on him."God, will you stop it!I'm sick of this."

"What?"

"Look, stop making the confused face, because you know damn well what I'm talking about.You've been like this for months, ever since it happened.It's like you're walking on eggshells every time I'm around.You've spent a great deal of effort trying _not_ to say what's on your mind, but I'm not stupid, Angel, and I'm not blind.What is it?"

He fidgeted for a moment."I can't.I won't…I'm not going to take advantage of you."

"Angel, Riley's been dead for months now.I've moved on.God, I've…"She stopped, swallowing the rest of her sentence.After a moment, she looked back up into his eyes, her own filling with tears."You're the love of my life.Can't you quit being so damn chivalrous for just one min…"

Angel reached out, pulling her to him and crushing his mouth to hers.Buffy made a small noise of surprise, before reaching her arms around his neck and opening her mouth to him.They stood like that for what seemed like forever, taking turns exploring each other.They finally separated, Buffy resting her head on his neck, her breath coming out in ragged gasps against his skin.

He held her, running his hand through her hair.Then, at that moment, Angel finally got it."You're my other half."

Buffy looked up to see his face, and nothing more needed to be said.They kissed again, before progressing to groping.After a while, Buffy managed to get out, "Listen, my mom's home with Dawn tonight, so it'll have to be your place."Angel nodded in response, beyond the point of words.

As they ran off, they were in too big of a hurry to notice that neither Spike nor Anne (They decided to call the alternate Buffy by her middle name in order to avoid confusion) had shown up for patrol as promised.Furthermore, they failed to notice the laughter coming from the woods that Angel had been looking at only a few minutes before.

You see, as it turns out, Anne had a taste for blonde bad boys with British accents.

Final Note:You're probably wondering about the significance of the prologue right about now.You know, the one with Timmy, Sam, and the regurgitating Frovlax demon.The truth is that it had nothing to do with the story.It was just a nice, flashy opening, going straight for the violence to get your attention.If you've made it this far, it must have worked.


	3. Honey, I'm Home

The Way It Should Be

Episode 3

Honey, I'm Home 

"Lucy, you got some 'splaining ta do!" 

_—I Love Lucy_

Tranquil Vista Memorial Park 

The regurgitating Frovlax demon was big, slimy, and pissed.He stormed through the cemetery, debating who would get eaten first._Just who did that guy think he was?In the end, the demon didn't care about the finer points as to __why it had happened.All he knew was that he was going to get back what was taken from him, and he didn't care how._

The very thought made him so angry that he slammed his paw through the wall of the nearest crypt.

Someone was going to _pay._

Buffy woke to feel sunlight warming her face.She slowly opened her eyes, finding herself staring into the face of an alarm clock._7:47.She was due to meet Giles at the Magic Box at ten, so she had plenty of time to __not get up._

She felt great, and she felt even better when she realized that the reason she was so warm was that Angel had his arms wrapped around her waist, cradling her back to him.She gently cuddled closer, trying not to wake him.He must have sensed what she was doing in his sleep, because he tightened his hold on her slightly.For a long time, she listened to him breathing quietly, his chest rising and falling against her back.

Fortunately her contentment was undisturbed by worry over fabricating an alibi.Last night she had had the foresight to call her mom and tell her she was staying at Willow's, just before she made a quick call to Willow, asking to cover for her.Willow had agreed, but on the condition that Buffy would explain everything later.Buffy figured that she would be more supportive than her mother concerning her little adventure.She'd just have to tell everyone else about their renewed relationship some other time.

Angel woke up and began to nuzzle her neck."Good morning."He inhaled deeply, taking in the sent of her hair."You smell great."

Buffy turned around to face him, his arms still around her."Thank you.You don't smellso bad yourself."

"Do you have to leave soon?"

"Not right now.I have to see Giles later, but I can stay here for a while.How about you?"

"I should probably check in with the office later, but there's no rush."Buffy grinned at the last part, and they kissed softly.Then, "Do you have time for breakfast?You wouldn't think it, but I've been told that I'm a good cook."

"I'd love that."

Angel kissed her forehead before getting up and going into the kitchen.As he was tracking down where he had put his new skillet, Angel wondered absently.Given that chocolate was terrific everything he had tried so far, how would a chocolate omelet taste?He glanced back into the bedroom to find Buffy watching his activities with avid interest.

Angel decided that he was in an experimental mood.

Buffy practically skipped through the door of the shop, greeting Giles and Anne with a cheerfulness that bordered on being scary.

"You're in a good humor this morning," Giles said.He took a sip of his tea and sat down behind the counter.

Anne was less amused, coldly eyeing Buffy from the table."Yeah, Buff.Look's like you got some last night."

"Using that standard, you're still a virgin," Buffy shot back.She ignored the Watcher's warning glare, saying, "So what's the deal?"

"There's been reports of some strange, rampaging monster smashing up things around town.Basically, until we have further information, I can't tell you much, but I just wanted to warn you so you'll be on your guard."

"So that's it?"

"Yes, but I was hoping that maybe you and Anne could get in some training—"

"Can't," Buffy interrupted."I'm meeting Willow.Maybe some other time."With that, she was gone.

"Hey, guys, how did the final touches go… What the…?"Angel opened the door to find a disaster zone.Paper and other supplies littered the floor, and his office was the worst.Everything he had put on his desk, once meticulously arranged and organized, was now strewn across the floor.It looked like someone had been searching for something.Angel frantically ran to the phone and quickly dialed Cordelia's number._God, let them be OK._

He was on the third ring when he heard the noise.Carefully hanging up the phone, he crept back into his office, trying to track it down.He heard it again, and he sighed as he walked behind his desk, careful not to look at them directly.

"Uh, hi Angel," Doyle said, "we were planning to get this all fixed before you came in this morning.You're here earlier than we thought."

Angel rolled his eyes, still being careful not to look at them."Cordy, Doyle, you both have apartments for this.I never felt the need to tell you this—after all, it seemed fairly obvious to me—but I'd appreciate it _very much if you never, ever, had sex in the office, ever again.Now I'm going to leave, and try to pretend that I never saw this.You are both going to get dressed, get this place fixed up, and never mention this incident again.Please have this done by the time I come back in tomorrow.Oh, and you're going to buy me a new desk with your own money."_

"Look, Angel, we're really sorry," Cordelia began, but he just shook his head and walked out.She turned to Doyle and smacked him."This is all your fault!"

"Why's it my fault?You seemed all for this idea last night."

"You let us fall asleep.Now what are we going to do?Angel's going to be weird around us until the end of time."

"Well, Angel's not going to be back until tomorrow, and we're already buying a new desk…"

"It's about time," Willow said, inviting Buffy in.

"Hi to you too."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."Willow sat down excitedly and motioned for Buffy to do the same."So, tell.What were you up to last night?No, wait.Let me guess…"Willow hummed the _Jeopardy! theme, then abruptly stopped."Gee, could it be something to do with Angel?"_

Buffy smiled."Yeah.You could say that we're officially together again."

Willow jumped up and did a victory dance."I won the pool!"

"Pool?What pool?There was a pool?"

Willow stopped mid-jump and seemed to shrink.She sat back down reluctantly."Uh, well, you see… It was pretty much agreed upon that you and Angel were going to get back together.It was just a matter of time.So Cordy was like, 'They'll be back in the sack in thirty seconds flat,' and Xander was like…"

"Cordelia said _what?"_

"OK, I see I'm just upsetting you and getting people in trouble.Let's just say, that bets were wagered on who could guess the date closest to when you two finally… you know.Oh, but don't worry.Everyone had to sign a form agreeing not to interfere in any way.Giles even got them notarized."

"You guys had _notarized forms?…Wait, __Giles was in on this?"_

Willow shrugged."It wasn't all Giles!Oz helped type up the non-interference agreements."

Buffy took several much-needed breaths."Willow, was there anyone I know that _didn't participate in The Buffy-Angel Lottery?"_

Willow thought for an exorbitant amount of time before saying, "Dang, we know a lot of people.Uh, I don't think Tara put any money down, but that was only because she felt that she didn't have enough information to hazard a reasonable guess."

"Oh, that makes me feel much better about being the brunt of a very bad joke.So how high was the pool?"

She did a little math on her fingers."Thirteen times fifteen dollars each, er, a hundred and ninety five dollars, assuming that no one else has joined that I don't know about."

Buffy suddenly remembered something."Was Anne in on this?"

"Oh, yeah.Get this: she said 'When hell freezes over.'Can you actually believe she put _money on that?Spike kept trying to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't listen."_

"It makes sense.I stopped by the store this morning and she seemed pissed about something.I'm guessing that she figured out that she lost the bet.Speaking of which, why do you think she bet on Angel and me not… reuniting?"

"Oh, that's obvious.She hates Angel's guts.I can't believe you never noticed."

"But why?She barely knows him."

"Yeah, but she apparently knew alternate Angel, and didn't like him at all.I suppose it bothers her that if things were different, she might have wound up with Angel herself.Besides… OK, we got sidetracked.You and Angel: I want details.Oh, but not icky details, 'cause that wouldn't be right.You know, good, best friend-appropriate, details."

Buffy laughed."Well, Angel and I were patrolling last night, and then we got into an argument, and the next thing I know, we're kissing."

"Argument?"

"Er, yeah.Basically, I was ticked because we could finally be together, and we weren't.Make a long story short, we resolved the issue."

"Well, I glad you two finally worked things out, and at just the right time for me to win money too.So, anything else?"

She thought on it."Well, he made me breakfast, which was… interesting."Willow stared at her, waiting for elaboration, which Buffy supplied."You see, Angel hasn't been able to really eat since forever, so now that he can, he kind of likes to experiment and try different things.Basically, he thought train went along the lines of: 'Well, my favorite food is chocolate, and an excellent breakfast food is an omelet.Therefore, a chocolate omelet must taste good.' "

"He made you a chocolate omelet?"

"Well, it's not as if I could have said no, so I tried it, and you wouldn't believe it, but it really was good.Tastes far less yucky than it sounds."

"The two of you are weird.You know that, right?"

Buffy sat up straighter as if she had been paid a high compliment."Yeah, and us weirdoes have a dinner-movie date tonight," she chirped.

"I can just see that.He takes you to a nice, Italian restaurant and you order ravioli in Hershey's chocolate syrup."

Buffy grabbed a pillow and smacked Willow's arm with it."I should have never told you that."

"No," she agreed, "you shouldn't have."

"Doyle, where the heck is my other shoe?"Cordelia looked under Angel's soon to be ex-desk to no avail.She was just about to give up and change pairs when the sandal landed with a thud on the floor next to her.She stood up."Hey, why'd you throw it at me?"

Doyle walked in from the other room."I'm sorry I couldn't hear you.What about a shoe?"

"Wait.You didn't throw it?"

He looked at her as if she had sprouted a third eye."Throw what?"Then he looked beyond her and pointed."Uh, I haven't been in town long, but is _that normal?"_

Cordelia followed his gaze to find a pen hovering in midair above a pad."What the…?"

The tip of the pen fell on the pad with a thunk and scribbled something.They ran over to see the word _Hi neatly printed._

"Denis?" Cordelia asked incredulously.

_Hi, the pen repeated.__Back.Big as life and… OK, not alive, but back._

"Denis can leave the apartment?"

"Not as far as I know.This is new."

_New tenets sucked.Missed you.Followed you here.Miss me?_

"Of course we did," Cordelia said and Doyle nodded furiously in agreement."We didn't know you could leave, otherwise we would have invited you to come with us."

_Angel here?_

"Yes, but he's out right now.He'll be back in tomorrow."

_Wesley here too?_

"Not yet," Doyle answered."He'll be here later today.He had some stuff to wrap up in LA."

The pen was very still.Finally the ghost scrawled, _Drat._

"Denis!That wasn't nice!"

_Don't care._

Doyle overlooked the last part asking, "When did you get into town?"

_Now.Just now, he wrote hurriedly.__Just got here.Wasn't here earlier at all._

Doyle and Cordelia shared a long glance.Then Cordelia carefully said, "Denis, where you here last night?"

What happened next came so quickly that their brains couldn't keep up.The first thing that Cordelia would later remember was a sharp pain in her cheek as a shard of glass grazed her.Then, like a jump shot in a movie, she was on the ground, and things were flying and being pulverized in a hail of office supplies.She vaguely felt Doyle find her in the maelstrom and hold on to her.

Then she caught up to reality and grasped what was happening.Fewer things were airborne, and a large figure was hunched over a shattered filing cabinet, shifting awkwardly through the papers.A continuous stream of growls emanated from it, occasionally punctuated by a discontented grunt.Without warning, it seized the cabinet and flung it across the room with a howl.It collided with the wall in an explosion of papers and broken pieces directly over Cordelia and Doyle's heads. Cordelia couldn't help but yelp in surprise.

The demon stood up abruptly.It turned to look at them and began to growl at them in a way that reminded them more of yelling.It gestured at Doyle furiously, growled louder, and began to descend slowly upon them.

Doyle held up his hands."Look, you can take anything you want.God, knows that it's all worthless junk anyway."

"Doyle, I think it knows you."

"Well, believe me, if I knew him, I'd remember.I've never seen it before."

It howled louder at that.

"Well, Doyle, it seems very angry, and that anger is directed at you."

He turned to the demon."Look, maybe we can work something out."

Its growl in response indicated that was not an option.

"Let me try," Cordelia said."Hey, ugly!"

The demon stopped mid-step and glared at her.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you.If you have half of a brain, you'd better leave now, 'cause we're expecting our friends any minute.Scary, _dangerous friends."_

The demon started to lurch toward her.

"Cordy, I don't think it's working."

"Shut up," she whispered to him, then turned back to the monster."Like the Slayer.We know the Slayer.Key word: slay.As in, Buffy _slays ugly demons like you."_

It stopped again and looked at Doyle for confirmation.He nodded his head furiously and added, "Yeah, and there's this guy, Angel, who's like a vampire, only better."

"Oh, and witches.Assuming Buffy and Angel don't kill you horribly, they'd probably turn you into a stink beetle or something."

"Hey, we're forgetting Anne."

"You're right.We know two Slayers."

"And Spike, who just _loves to kill demons."_

The demon looked back and forth between the two several times, before giving up and lunging at Doyle.There was no place to roll out of the way, so he ducked and waited to die.After nothing happened, he looked up to see the demon under assault by the phone book.The demon swatted at it, but the yellow pages were not so easily disposed of, and continued to smack the demon relentlessly.It finally managed to beat it across the room, only to be attacked vigorously by a larger, heavier, hardbound book, as well as a keyboard and a stapler.

Cordelia grabbed Doyle's hand and they fled, Doyle yelling over his shoulder, "Thanks, Denis!"

All was right with the world as Buffy walked up to her front door.OK, so there were certain people who were due for a butt kicking over the pool-thing, but that really wasn't _that important in the scheme of things.Her hand had just barely brushed the cool metal of the knob when her mother opened it from the inside and angrily put her hands on her hips._

"You just couldn't have waited three days, could you?"

"What?"

Joyce stepped aside for Buffy to enter, adding, "Three more days and that two hundred bucks would have been mine!And I really wanted that cute little dress I saw at _Everyday Woman."_

"I can't believe you of all people… You're my mom.You're not supposed to _do stuff like that!"_

Dawn walked in at that moment, assessed the situation, and groaned, "Oh, I guess we lost the pool."

Buffy looked back and forth between them."Oh, not you too."

"Yeah.We went in together.If either of us won, we split the profit.Which is too bad, 'cause I really could use more of that—what did Giles call it again?—'aggressively cheerful music.'"

Buffy tried to think of something scathing to say, but was cut off by the phone ringing.She walked into the dinning room fuming and snatched up the receiver."What?" she snapped more curtly than she had intended."Sorry, I just heard about the pool, and I'm a little upset."She listened and nodded her head."I'll be there in a few minutes."

Buffy hung up the phone, glared at her family, then wordlessly went upstairs to shower and change.

Xander parked the car at the curb and got out.He spared a glance upward to reread the sign: _Tranquil Vista Memorial Park.He didn't know who that sign was trying to kid.A cemetery was a cemetery no matter what its name was.He supposed that it was indicative of the usual attitude that pervaded the more mundane population of Sunnydale.Maybe if they closed their eyes and pretended the monsters didn't exist, they would eventually just fade away.Perhaps if they buried their dead in a 'memorial park' instead of a cemetery, the death would seem less real.Xander knew from experience that pretty euphuisms did absolutely nothing to dull the pain of grief.People were equally dead no matter where they were buried._

Unless, of course, the deceased turns into a fanged pain in the butt, who doesn't have a phone, causing you to drive halfway across town to a moldy graveyard every time you need something.

Xander had argued against the necessity of bringing Spike to the Scooby meeting, but to no avail.As much as Spike was a big jerk, he often proved useful.Besides, his crypt was on the way to Anne's place.(She had a phone, but apparently never answered it.)The dilapidated crypt came into view over the hill, and Xander slowed his pace.Why did _he have to go get Spike?Did Giles hate him in some way he didn't know about yet?_

Xander's musings were interrupted as he observed the large hole that had been punched in the wall of the tomb.He considered the possibility that the vampire was remodeling, but quickly dismissed the idea as absurd.Xander decided to ask him about it, when he noticed that the door was agar.

Xander pushed it open and walked in."Spike?"

No answer came.A quick scan of the room confirmed that it was empty, leading Xander to wonder where the heck Spike could have gone to in the middle of a bright, sunny day.He shrugged, taking comfort that he wouldn't have to deal with Blondie's crap, when he saw the trapdoor out of the corner of his eye.He furrowed his brow and investigated.Sure enough, that too was agar, which was invitation enough for Xander.With a smooth pull, he exposed the ladder to the subterranean room, and climbed down.

The resulting scream of horror could be heard far from the borders of the cemetery.

The gang was short five members, but was already hard at work.Anya, Tara, and Oz were discussing possible avenues of research with Willow doing an Internet search, while Giles was bandaging Cordelia's cheek and attempting to obtain more information.

"So you said it pointed at you?"

"Yeah, it was pointing, and then it growled at me."Doyle mimicked the pointing and growled a little for emphasis.

Anya swiveled around in her chair."Want some unsolicited advice?"

"Do I have a choice?"

She didn't appear to notice that he spoke."I wouldn't demonstrate the growling, if I were you."

"Hey!" Cordelia said.Fortunately for Anya, she was out of smacking range."I happen to think it was cute.Doyle, growl as much as you want."

There was a scared and stunned silence.

Cordelia leaned over to Doyle."You can growl for me later."

Doyle grinned insanely, prompting Giles to shake his head and move on."Any idea what it wanted?"

"Yeah, it wanted to kill me."

Cordelia nodded in agreement."If it weren't for Denis, we'd be dead."

"Don't move your head," Giles chided."Neither of you have ever seen it?"

"No," they said in unison.

He finished up with Cordelia's cheek and stood."Well, we're trying to get a hold of Angel, and hopefully he'll know something.It might be trying to get to him through you."

Cordelia's eyes widened suddenly."Oh, I remember now.I've seen that demon before!"

"And you're just now remembering this?"

Cordelia smacked Doyle."I've seen a lot of demons.After a while, they all run together."Doyle looked hurt, but not about his bruised arm."Oh, I didn't mean _you.That did come out right.You know you're my little Cactus Man."_

This prompted much snuggling on their part, and very much discomfort/disgust from the store's other inhabitants.Giles walked over to the table in order to put distance between them."You were saying about the demon?"

Cordelia came back to reality land."Oh, yeah.It's a regurgitating Frovlax demon.I once knew this guy called Gunn.He got eaten by one."

Willow looked up from her computer and furrowed her brow."I've read about those.There're supposed to be one of the kinder, gentler, herbivorous demons.Completely harmless."

"Yeah, well we just ran into the Hannibal Lector of regurgitating Frovlax demons, and believe me, that one was anything but harmless."

Giles poured himself some tea from a pot behind the counter."Well, I believe that's enough to start with.Now once the others get here—"

The door slammed open and Xander sprinted in.His skin was stark white and he looked like the hounds of hell had chased him there."Oh my Go—"In his haste to reach them, he forgot about the step down, tripped, and fell on his face.

Willow and Oz were the closest, and rushed to help him to his feet."Are you alright?What happened?"

Xander shrugged them off and huddled against the wall."No, I'll never be alright again!I'll never _sleep again!"Anya approached very cautiously and Xander allowed her to touch him.She said nothing for a while, waiting for him to speak first.After taking several large inhalations of air, he finally did."I went to Spike's place first, and the door was open, and I saw __everything.Anne—or hopefully an evil twin of I don't know about… Oh, God.It was awful.They were having __sex!"_

There was a scared and stunned silence.

Willow shook her head."Could you repeat that?"

"Anne and Spike were having nasty, rabid-weasel, vampire-Slayer, role-playing, sex."

There was a scared and stunned silence.

"Are you sure it wasn't Harmony, or someone that's not Anne?"

Xander began to make rocking motions and moan." 'Oh, Anne!'… 'Harder Spike!' Believe me, it wasn't Harmony."

After a series of EWWWWWWWW!'s there was yet another a scared and stunned silence.

"Well, that has to be about the nastiest thing I have ever heard," Oz observed.

Xander nodded in agreement then bolted for the bathroom to puke.Anya follow him to make sure he was medically alright, while everyone else tried not to follow Xander's example.

"Buffy and Angel are going to _freak when they hear," Willow said in a hush._

"Oh, no they're not!" Giles said suddenly.

"Believe me, Spike will never walk again after they find out," Cordelia retorted.

"But they're not going to find out."

After the sound of running water as Xander washed his mouth out, he reentered with Anya."What's that supposed to mean?"

"None of you are to discuss this with anyone outside this room, most especially Buffy and Angel.If we're lucky, this will be a brief phase that will blow over without either of them having to know about it."

"Total media blackout," Oz remarked.

Giles gestured in Oz's direction."Exactly."

"I don't know," Doyle began."I don't like the idea of lying to Angel, or Buffy for that matter."

Giles turned to face him."I don't like it either, but what choice do we have?I think telling them would do more harm than good.Besides, what they don't know won't get Spike killed."

Tara spoke up."B-but w-what if they find out anyway, then discover that we knew?It would just make things worse.Plus Buffy and Angel will hate us."

Willow nodded in agreement."She's right.Buffy already feels betrayed by the pool."

"She knows about the pool?" Anya asked. 

"Oh, yeah.She and Angel are back together, which reminds me.Someone owes me a hundred and ninety-five bucks."

Giles rolled his eyes and got the money out of the box behind the counter.He handed it over saying, "OK, so it comes down to who gets to bell the cat.Which one of you is going to be the lucky messenger?I volunteer not to do it."

Everyone spent several minutes staring at each other.

"You know, not telling them seems like a much better idea now," Willow said.

"I rest my case.Oh, I need something stronger than tea right about now."Giles ran behind the counter.

"Can I have some too?" Doyle asked.

Xander sighed and picked up the phone.After punching a few numbers and waiting for a few minutes he said, "Yes.I'd like to speak to an inmate of yours.Xander Harris.Yes, that's right, Faith.It's important."He looked around the room for several minutes while he waited for her to come on the line.Finally, "Hi, it's Xander.I'm just calling to say you lost the pool.Yeah, just recently as I understand it."He listened and bobbed his head."Hold on a minute."He cupped his hand to the receiver and turned to the others."Hey, Faith's getting released on good behavior."

There was a mixed reaction from the peanut gallery.

Doyle looked at Cordelia."Faith?"

"Oh, well she's this Slayer that's really screwed up.She went all evil, tried to kill everyone, then got put into a coma by Buffy.Then she got better, went all evil and tried to kill everyone again.Fortunately, Angel converted her back to the good side of the force, she turned herself into the cops, and they sent her to the big house.And now's she getting out."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

She shrugged."Depends on who you ask."

"Well what do you think, Princess?"

"I don't like her at all and I sincerely hope that she doesn't move back here.Oh, and don't you know Buffy and Angel are going to go at it over this one."

Doyle gave her an odd look.

"Oh, not _that way.It's just that they've had major blowouts over The Faith Issue.Angel thinks that she deserves her shot at redemption, and Buffy thinks she needs to __pay for her crimes.I personally don't care what happens to her, just so long as it's happening nowhere near me."_

Anne and Spike chose that moment to make their dramatic appearance, Spike sizzling under his blanket and Anne's hair in complete disarray.

"Um, Faith, I've gotta go now."Xander hung up without waiting for her to say goodbye.

Anne was first to catch her breath."Look, don't know what, er…"

"Xander," Spike prompted.

"Thanks.What Xander told you, and I can only imagine what you might be thinking…"

Giles cut her off with his hand."Please don't try to make excuses, and no, you couldn't possibly know what I'm thinking.Besides, we've already discussed it, and you are not, _under any circumstances, to tell Buffy or Angel about this.I hope you'll agree, this would be the safest course of action."_

They looked at each other and seemed to have an unspoken understanding.Spike turned back."Sounds good to me, mate."

"Oh, and another condition is that you never again refer to me as 'mate.' "

"Sure, whatever you say, Chuck."

Anne laughed quietly at Spike's jab and walked with him, taking the seats furthest away from everyone else.The group immediately got to work, attempting unsuccessfully not to think about the scary Anne-Spike images that were running through their heads.

Buffy grabbed an iced coffee at the Expresso Pump on her way to the store.She crossed the street and trotted up the sidewalk at a brisk pace.She spared a glance inside the shop before going in,only to see that Angel was there.Her heart skipped a beat, and she leapt back out of view._Crap.She didn't know Giles had called him too, otherwise she might have put a little more effort into getting ready.She pulled out a compact.She didn't look bad at all, but she wasn't happy about the fact that her still-wet hair was just pulled back in a messy ponytail.In the back of her head, her brain finally engaged and she realized that Angel's love was not dependent on her appearance.__Fudge it.If he wanted gorgeous, he should have waited until he picked me up later.She crammed the compact back into her purse and walked in._

Angel was hovering over Doyle and Cordelia, the latter of which had a gauze bandage on her cheek.Cordy wasn't happy about her 'deformed' face, and was gripping loudly to prove it.Angel looked up to watch Buffy come in and smiled.

Noticing that Anne was also present, Buffy strolled confidently up to Angel and kissed him lightly on the lips.His eyes widened in surprise at the public display, but she didn't notice as she was very busy giving a pointed smile in Anne's direction.Nor did she notice that the discomfort level in the room had gone up several notches.Instead she asked, "Hey, you guys just giving up on the office altogether and moving in with us?"Buffy noticed that Cordelia didn't seem to find her joke funny at all.

Fortunately before Cordelia opened her mouth and said something Cordelia-like, Angel gave Buffy a brief run down of current events, right down to Gunn's demise at the same demon."It was just luck that I decided to come by and see what was going on," he finished.

In a lower tone so only Angel would hear, Buffy asked, "Just happened to stop by?"

He fidgeted."I missed you.Which, now that I think about it, sounds like stalking-boyfriend behavior."

She just smiled, then said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, "OK, so we patrol, kill it a lot, leaving the world safe for democracy again."

Giles shook his head."There's still the problem of why a nonviolent species of demon suddenly turned so violent.Perhaps there's some bigger power at work here."

"Well, back in LA, we encountered certain drugs that induced that kind of behavior in demons," Angel offered."This being the Hellmouth, it's not unlikely that a drug ring has been set up, given the market."

"Or the demon could be really pissed off about something and out for revenge," Anya suggested."I mean, most humans are harmless until they get angry about something.Then I get called in… and you get the idea."

"Yeah," Doyle said, "but the problem is, I don't know that guy.I don't have the foggiest idea what I could have done to make it angry."Someone knocked on the door and Doyle rolled to his feet."I'll get it."He ambled over and opened the door.

The demon reached out and seized Doyle by the throat, lifting him off his feet.He let out a yelp of surprise, while the Scoobies scrambled to arm themselves.Buffy rushed forward with a sword, Angel and Anne not far behind with a really big axes.

"Let him down now, or my friends and I go Lizzy Borden," Buffy said in a deadly undertone, raising her weapon slightly for emphasis.

It began to growl at her in a way that seemed to be more like an attempt to speak.

"Riley?"

Everyone, including the demon, turned to stare at Spike, who had spoke.The demon began to growl again, this time at Spike.

"What's going on?" Anne asked.

Never taking his eyes off the demon, Spike explained, "One of my cousins married one of these, so I've picked up some of their language.I'm telling you, I think it's Riley."

Everyone looked back at the demon, who waived a little with the hand it wasn't using to choke Doyle.

"Riley?" Buffy asked.

The Demon growled.

"I think that was a yes," Spike interpreted.

"Riley, if it's you, prove it by putting Doyle down."

The demon considered for a moment, before complying.Doyle quickly scrambled as far away as he could.

'Riley' began to growl for an extended period of time, and Spike translated:"He says that the last thing he remembered was being in the warehouse, and being possessed by Doyle.However, as 'that damn vampire'—who I'm assuming is Dru—screwed with the spell, he was eventually pushed out all together, and into another body, with is, unfortunately, this one.Now he wants his old body back…

"God, what the hell is wrong with you people?It's seems like you're getting yourselves turned into demons every other week, leaving me to act like a bloody Babel Fish.You know, if I wanted to be a translator, I would have joined the sodding Peace Corps."

"Shut up, Spike," Buffy and Angel said in unison.

Anne gestured at Riley."If Riley was pushed into this demon's body, where did the demon go?"

Los Angeles: 

Wolfram and Hart...

The guide motioned to his left, indicating an office overflowing with interns.An entourage of eager law students hung on his every word."Over here is our record keeping department.Here at Wolfram and Hart, interns get exposed to all aspects of the legal process, as well as employment opportunities, once you pass the bar.Oh, and coming up over here is our Department of Special Projects."

A lithe red headed girl raised her hand."Special projects?"

The guide nodded."I can't really talk much about it, as it might compromise client confidentiality.However you might call this the Area 51 of our firm, only in a much less… illegal and evil sense.Oh, look, there's the head of the department herself, Lilah Morgan!"

The students turned to look with avid interest, only to see the lawyer take a running leap and jump on the guide's back with a shriek.She dug her teeth into his neck, growling the entire time.The guide's screams were drowned out by those of the students, who went running for the nearest exit.However, one didn't run fast enough, and was promptly eaten by Lilah.

Off to the side, another lawyer watched the calamity with detachment.Security was on their way, so he should be fine._The more critical thing, he thought to himself as Lilah began to regurgitate her meal, __is that we lost several good candidates for the future.From now on, we really shouldn't have the Special Projects area on the tour._

"I don't care about the demon and I don't care about Riley.He can find some other body, 'cause this one's taken," Cordelia shouted.

More growling.

Spike rolled his eyes."He says that either he gets his body back, or he kills it.If he can't have it, no one can.Oh, and Riley in no way blames Angel for anything involving this incident, and there is absolutely no reason for him to fear for his life."

Buffy found Spike's translation far less amusing than Anne did.She clutched his upper arm and squeezed it.Hard."William, you better tell me _exactly _what he's saying.Now."

He snatched his arm back with effort."Well, I never claimed to be fluent, Summers.I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.Never mind you wouldn't even know it was Riley if it weren't for me."

They were cut off by Riley howling in frustration.

"Spike, what did he just say?"

"Oh, he just wants to know if you're boffing the Poof Head."

Buffy looked at Angel, then back to the Frovlax demon."Those aren't the exact words I'd use."

Riley was visibly more upset."Why, Buffy, I'm very disappointed in you," Spike said in a exaggerated, macho voice."How long did you wait before you replaced me?"

Buffy let Spike's sarcasm slide."Riley, for God's sake, give me a break!You'd been dead for two months.I moved on, and if our positions had been reversed, I would have been a big enough person to want you to do the same."

"According to him, he's been gone for thirty-eight days and six hours, which is not two months.Furthermore, he doesn't care what body he's in, but he wants you back anyway."

Her anger was reaching levels that rivaled the demon's."Riley, not to be shallow, but—"

Spike's touched her arm to stop her, his expression somewhere between worry and curiosity. "This is word for word: 'Less chat, more splat.' "

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Spike never answered, for Riley chose that moment to pick up the vampire up and hurl him into a wall.Anne let out a yell of rage and charged, swinging her ax high over her head.Riley dodged the blade, only to have the Slayer slam her entire body into his.The force sent both of them flying backwards and crashing through the front window.Everyone ran out on to the street—except Spike, who watched from the window to avoid bursting into flames—to see Anne pounding the crap out of Riley with the blunt part of her ax.

Buffy was about to run out and intervene, when a truck came barreling down the road far faster than was safe.It swerved to avoid hitting them, flipped over, and landed on it's side.Riley and Anne stopped fighting to gape and were horrified to catch sight of the sign on the side of the truck: 

BIOHAZARD: RABID GOATS.

Then, in a rushing horde, the goats flooded out of their smashed cages and headed directly for Riley.

Anne had the good sense to get out of the way, running to the others.Riley, however, did not, and he screamed as the goats, one by one, hideously raped him.(They apparently confused him for a sexy she-goat, which was an understandable mistake.)The others could only watch helplessly in horror, disgust, and—in the case of Spike and Anne—utter amusement.

Apparently someone bystander had called an ambulance, because one was on its way, sirens blazing.The driver turned the corner, saw the spectacle on the street, and freaked.(Once again, understandable.If you saw some slimy demon getting raped by rabid goats, you'd be freaked too.)However, unlike the goat truck, the ambulance didn't swerve out of the way, instead running over Riley and the goat that was currently engaged in sexual intercourse with him.

Meanwhile, in the stratosphere...

"This is Fed-Ex flight 302 to control.We are declaring an emergency!Control, this is Fed-Ex flight 302…"

"This is tower control, what is you emergency?"

"We are experiencing a catastrophic systems failure.We've lost three engines, and we're losing power fast.We may also be leaking fuel.Please advise."

"Flight 302, what is your location?"

No further communication was ever recorded from flight 302, as the plane exploded mid-air in a blast that could be seen from the ground.This is only being mentioned because of a particular package that was on that airplane.An artist in Los Angeles had ordered an anvil on E-bay three days prior.It was this very anvil that was now plummeting towards earth.

Back on the Ground...

Foam-mouthed goats bleated pitifully at the loss of one of their brethren, while a crippled, but still slightly alive Riley attempted to crawl to his feet.He was making progress too, when the afore mentioned anvil squished him in a spectacular display of blood and flying body parts.Finally, one of goats trotted over, and relieved himself on what little remained of Riley's corpse.

Spike clapped and cheered from the safety of the store, while everyone else stood in appalled silence.

"Well, that has to be about the nastiest thing I have ever seen," Oz observed.

Xander shrugged."I've seen worse.Far worse."He glared at Anne.

Buffy, however, said nothing and quietly walked away.The gang looked at each other, at a loss for what to do, but Angel just went after her.

Once they were a safe distance away, Angel tried frantically to think of something to say.Unfortunately there was no good way to say 'I'm sorry your ex-boyfriend got turned into a regurgitating Frovlax demon, raped by rabid goats, ran over by an ambulance, squished by an anvil, and peed on.I sincerely hope this in no way jeopardizes our relationship.'

Fortunately, Buffy spoke first."Well, I can look on the bright side and say that at least I didn't have to tell him that we were breaking up."

Angel continued to struggle to something eloquent to say, finally producing, "Huh?"

Buffy took on of his hands in hers."Look, I already did my morning-thing for Riley, and I'm sure as heck not going through it again.Even if he were to come back, I'd stay with you anyway, so what's the point in brooding about it?Life's too short not to be happy."

Xander watched Buffy and Angel walk off together, hand in hand, with more than a little annoyance."She doesn't look to terribly upset."

Anya shrugged."I don't blame her.Riley was a slug.She is much better off without him.Besides, her children will be significantly more attractive with her new mate."Xander stared at her."What?It serves him right.I know Riley would cart me off and put chips in my head in a red-hot minute if given the chance."

Giles sighed as he went to go close the store and board up whole where the window used to be."I hope this fiasco doesn't hurt business."

A cab drove up a safe distance away and Wesley clambered out with a couple of suitcases.He trotted over, carefully avoiding the Riley-splat and the weasels that were carrying off the scattered body parts."Hey, you were supposed to pick me up at the airport!"

"Sorry, Wes," Cordelia replied, "but we kinda had a small crisis."

"What did I miss?"

She thought for a moment."You lost the pool."

To be continued


	4. Beside Myself

Episode 4

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:At long last, the next installment.I apologize in advance for it sucking.

Episode 4

Beside Myself

_"We are the hero of our own story."_

_—Mary McCarthy_

Winter in southern California was basically summer anywhere else, and that was the way I liked it.I had to admit, it felt good to be back, even under current circumstances.

The wind picked up slightly, carrying the sent of soft earth, coming spring, and other things.I looked east, facing the incoming wind.Gravestones were peppered in between massive crypts, a perfect hiding place.Well, two could play that game.The tree whose branches were currently harboring me was directly west of the graveyard, featuring a fantastic elevated view of the enemy territory.Oh, and it was conveniently downwind of anything lurky in nature.

It was actually turning out to be a boring evening.Dang.Yes, it had all the earmarkings of One-Of-Those-Nights, were I'll wish I had just gone to bed early.

Eventually, movement caught my interest.I froze every muscle in my body, thinking quiet.Then I loosened up, recognizing my face.While I skulked in the tree, I was also strolling amongst the graves, doing a lame job of looking harmless.

Yup, tonight was going to suck.

Just who did she think she was fooling?By now, just about every resident vampire in Sunnydale would have to know about a blonde Slayer running around.Only the newbies or the deeply stupid would not be circumspect.No sooner then I had thought this, one of the afore mentioned morons/tourists assaulted Cheap Rip-Off Me and was swiftly dispatched.

Enter Broody Boy.My doppelganger grins like a maniac and says something._"Oh, Angel,"_ I dubbed in, _"I'm so glad you came.If you hadn't shown up soon, I might have done untold crazy things like, Idon't know, get a life outside of you!"_

I switched to a deeper voice for Batman._"I know.I guess that's one on the benefits of dating someone who acts like he's surgically attached to your ass."_

"You're right!It's like having an overgrown puppy that ceaselessly follows you around, only I can have sex with you."

At this point, they began to suck face, and I desperately wished I had thought to bring along a spoon to gag myself with.In my best bimbo voice: _"Ah!Ah!I'm choking on your tongue!"_

I heard laughter behind me.I turned around to see him and couldn't help but give Spike the exact same look my clone just gave Angel."Hey."

"Having fun?"

"Very much so.I mean, it's not like it's hard.They're easy targets."

He agilely climbed up and sat on a nearby branch.Our two little lust birds were still making out, her hands running through his hair.Spike put on an overly low voice very similar to the one I had done._"Oh, now you've done it.And after I used a whole bottle of gel to get it this way!"_

It was difficult to tell at this distance, but it appeared they were taking a break while still invading each other's personal bubble._"Oh, just take me, you virile, Blade-wannabe, you!"_

_"Sure thing, Baby.So, will it be my Batcave, or your Fortress of Solitude?"_

"Wasn't it Super_man_ that had the Fortress of Solitude?" I asked.

He shrugged."I didn't know where Wonder Woman hung out, so I improvised.It's not as if I make a habit of reading comic books."

I sighed and gracefully dropped out of the tree.He did the same."God, I can't believe we're the same person in a freaky, _Twilight Zone_ kinda way.What does she see in him?"

"Wish I knew.On the bright side, everyone else has to be saying the exact same thing about us, and—as you well know—irritating the Scoobies is my absolute favorite pastime."

"Yeah," I said, but I knew him well enough to read between the lines.He was wondering the same thing himself.

"You can stay with us until you get your own place," she said."Or you can stay with us indefinitely.I'm sure it'd be OK with my… I mean, our mom."

It was a neatly kept house in a nice neighborhood, but it wasn't home.It might have well been on Mars."That won't be necessary.Giles pays pretty well, so it shouldn't be hard to find someplace nice."

She nodded and skipped up to the porch."Yeah, there are a lot of nice apartment places in town.Since it looks like we've got four other friends in your same situation, maybe you guys can look together."She opened the door, which had been left unlocked, probably in anticipation of our arrival."We're here!"

A brown-headed girl about fourteen walked up."Wow.Are you like from an alternate universe or something?"

"Who the heck is that?"

Buffy looked at bit shaken."She's our sister, Dawn."To the girl, she said, "Dawn, this is, er…"She looked at me."This could get confusing."

"Oh, we passed confusing about three miles back," I said.

"Yeah, think about it," Dawn said."Someone walks into a room and asks for Buffy.Which one?We'll have to call you something else."

"How about Anne?" Buffy suggested."It's still technically your name."

Things were moving too fast."Why am I the one that has to change my name?"

I didn't get an opportunity to argue further, because their mother came in.Joyce had a baking apron on which was coated with flour, along with her hands."Oh, hi.I was hoping to be done before you got here, but unfortunately the cake is in critical condition and will be lucky to survive."

I opened my mouth to say something, then shut it.I should have known what an extraordinarily bad idea it was to come here."I'm sure it'll be great."

The rest of the evening went much the same way: everyone being excessively nice and calling me Anne.I was too weirded out to complain.

The cake was good.Chocolate and cinnamon something.

Afterwards I got the twenty five cent tour, ending with 'my room.'It was actually an office with an inflatable bed and pieces of ugly art adorning the walls.It was obvious that this Joyce Summers had lived out her dream of being an art dealer.I thanked them for their hospitality, and after several minutes telling them that trandimensional time traveling was exhausting and I needed rest, they finally conceded defeat and left me alone.

To my credit, I did wait at least five minutes before opening the window and escaping into the tree.I wandered around town for what seemed like hours.The main street was still crowed with shoppers, even though it was late.The area around the theater was particularly busy with the couples leaving the movies for the coffee shop across the street.One couple even meandered into Giles' store and I made sure to hide my face as I walked pass.I didn't want my hosts to find out that I ditched them.

Finally I found myself parked on a swing in a deserted playground.I let my feet dangle beneath me, before kicking a small rock across the jungle gym and into the sandbox."God, what am I doing here?"

"Looks to me like you're kicking around innocent rocks."

I turned around and glared."Oh, it's you."

Spike walked up and looked down at me."What kind of greeting is that?"

"It's not one.What do you want?"

Spike sighed and sat down on the swing next to me."To get you to a rage management class, quick.First you go around beating up and killing poor wangers like me, then you go out and kick around a few rocks.Where will it end?"

"You're a vampire."Believe me, that didn't come out the way I had intended.

"Nice of you do notice.What of it?"

"I'm a Slayer and you're being nice to me.From what the other Buffy tells me, you're an ass to just about everyone.Why are you suddenly Mr. Congeniality?"

"I'm not always mean," he said indignantly.

I gave him my best blank stare.

He eventually caved and elaborated."I'm polite to people I like.It's just that I don't like most people."

"You like me?"

A shrug."I don't really know you too well.However, you got off to a good start by recognizing Angel for the Nancy boy that he is.Anyone who can see that can't be all bad."

"Even if said person just spent the past few minutes being generally grouchy to you?"

"Well, if you'd been the other you, I'd be getting my ass kicked for no good reason right about now.Gives me a bit of perspective."

I picked up another pebble, only I tossed this one, giving him a pointed look while doing it.The second rock slammed into the first, scattering sand in its wake."Well, if it makes you feel better, I have better things to do than beat you up."

"I know.So many rocks, so little time."

I laughed."More like, I see no point in hurting someone if he's part of the solution and not the problem."

"You know, it's about bloody time someone said that."

God, he was cute.Then again, it could just be the accent.A voice in the back of my head loudly questioned the sanity of being attracted to the living impaired.The rest of me didn't seem to care, and decided to enjoy the view while it was here."Well, we know that I'm here to terrorize the local geological residents, but that doesn't explain what you're doing here."

"Oh, I live here.Well, actually, over there."He pointed the cemetery adjacent to the playground.

What kind of screwed up town builds a playground right next to that?

However, that wasn't the question I asked out loud."You live in a graveyard?"

"You act like I'm alive enough to care.You want to see it?"

I couldn't help but hesitate.We seemed to be getting along too well for me to tell him that I really couldn't care less about any crypt, no matter what was in it.

He stood up."Come on.I'll even show you my favorite thing in the world.That is, if you're not to terribly busy protecting the world from the big, bad rocks."

Against better judgment, I went along.Besides, if his favorite thing was anything like I suspected it was, I could always kill him later.

His eyes were gorgeous, even when they were filled with doubt.

I smiled and took hold of his hand."We may be the freaks of the Scooby Gang, but at least we have fun."

The effect of that one sentence was profound.He went directly from worried to aroused without passing GO or collecting $200."What did you have in mind?"

"Well, cow tipping is not an option due to this town's disappointing lack of cows.So we'll just have to do the next best thing."

"We're seeing a movie?"The disappointment in his voice was palatable.

I pointed to the theatre."Wait a moment."No sooner had I said this, then Xander and Anya walked out of the theatre at a leisurely pace."I overheard them making plans for tonight's date, so I looked up how long the movie was, then did a little math."

"So your idea of 'fun' consists of stalking Xander?"

"No, even better."

We hid in an alley and watched our prey walk close, snuggling.Before Spike said something and gave us away, I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me.I used my other hand to thrust his face to mine and kissed him in a way that gave Buffy and Angel a run for their money.He must have caught on, because he wasted no time getting into the act.His hands slid around my waist, kneading the small of by back, before slipping under my shirt to hold my bare back.

Just as they came into hearing range, I added in sound effects.

Saying that our little display had the desired outcome would be a tremendous under-statement.Xander shrieked like a girl.

"What are you… don't you have somewhere else to _do_ that?"

Spike pulled his lips off mine, but I still kept my body cuddled next to his."Yeah, but since a certain person—who will go unnamed—has no respect for privacy, what would be the point?"

Xander stammered for a ridiculous about of time.He finally managed to get out:"I wish I was blind."After dropping that whopper of an insult, he scurried off, dragging Anya behind him.

Neither of us could stop laughing for a very long time after that.

Then, without warning, all the humor seemed to drain out of his eyes.He cupped my face with his hand."We still haven't really talked about yesterday."

I nodded into his palm, caressing my hand over his."We don't have to.It was beautiful."

"I just feel bad that your… our first—We'll do better next time."

I watched his emotions flare across his face.It was weird.I realized that if I told him that he had sucked, it would have hurt more than if I had just staked him.Whether or not he consciously realized it, he was defenseless and it bordered on scaring me."Well, I don't claim to know much on the subject, but up until Shaggy made a guest spot, I thought it was pretty amazing."

He smiled, brought his face closer and kissed me.It wasn't what we had done for Xander's benefit, where I was worried about swallowing his tongue.It was tender, more like an affirmation.He was trying to prove to himself that he didn't imagine last night.

Then again, I could be reading more into it than was actually there.

"Come with me," I breathed into his mouth.

He knit his eyebrows together and pulled back enough to see my face clearly."What?"

"I wasn't hanging out in the tree 'cause I was trying to stop a strip mall from being built.I had some time to kill before meeting Buffy and Giles for a training session.If I have to spend a few hours alone with the two of them, I'll go insane.Come with me."

"Don't you think she might find it odd that I'm tagging along?"

I shrugged."She knows we're friends.If push comes to shove, I'll just pretend that you came uninvited and I'm not happy about it.She'll love that.Or, better yet: we can join forces to harass her.Between the two of us, I'm sure we can come up with some great material."

"Where do I sign up?"

Spike pushed the door open with on hand and walked in before me.As soon as he moved out of the way, I got a good view of the room.It was large, not to mention surprising open and light, by crypt standards.A plain stone—or possibly concrete—sarcophagus was off to one side, and to the other was a couch facing a cheap TV.Next to the sarcophagus there was a wooden trapdoor, which probably led to subterranean rooms.I mentally filed away the last bit, under 'Possibly Useful in the Future.'

My final judgment was that, while housekeeping was clearly not a high priority here, it was nowhere near as bad as I'd been expecting.

I glanced in his direction and it seemed like he was waiting."Am I missing something?"

"No, it's just that this is usually the point where the visitor makes some crack about my place."

I walked over and sat on the couch."It's a nice crypt.I think that anyone that says otherwise is forgetting that it is a _crypt_.It's not as if Martha Stewart lives here."I thought for a moment."What's with the sarcophagus?I thought vampires didn't sleep in coffins."

"You're right," he said, joining me on the couch."That's just a stupid myth made up by ignorant sods that assume that Dracula sets the rules for all of us."

"Wait, Dracula is real?"

"Oh, yeah.Poof owes me eleven pounds.And that's not adjusted for inflation.Stoker forgot to mention his villain was a thieving, arrogant bastard.And speaking of forgetting, I was going to show you my favorite thing in the world."

He got up suddenly and ran over to a nearby windowsill that was doubling as a self for video tapes.He flipped through his collection for a few minutes, then drew out one with a grin.He popped it into a new-looking VCR, which seemed totally out of place until I read the stamp on the side: "Property of the University of California."

"This is my favorite episode," he practically chirped, flopping gracelessly back onto the couch."This is the one where Timmy's in a well."

Remember what I said earlier about my premonition of tonight sucking rotten toad ass?Sometimes I get tired of being right all the time.

As it turns out, it was Bring Your Boyfriend to Work day, only no one let _me_ know that.Big as life, and twice as irritating, Angel was discussing something about the finer points of possession.Apparently he'd done an exorcism once, and, golly gee, look at me not caring.

Angel was leaning back slightly in his chair at the round table (I'm thinking Giles might have a King Arthur complex or something) which was right next to Buffy's.Apparently they couldn't even bear the separation of the space in between the chairs, because they were holding hands.

There was some good news in Metown.As soon as Spike and I walked in together, Giles' panic button was pushed.He squirmed in his chair like he was being eaten alive by starved piranhas.

"Hey, Anne," Buffy said.She didn't even seem upset that I brought Spike.Damn.I guess her daily dose of Angel-induced happy pills was wearing off no time soon.This upset me.If someone gets on my nerves, I want to be able to return the favor.

I smiled diplomatically and said hi back.

"I brought Angel along," she continued, "because I thought he might be a good change in sparing partner.It doesn't do us a whole lot of good practicing on each other, since we're kind of the same person."

I half-pointed at Spike."Great minds think alike."

She let go of Angel's hand so she could fold her arms across her chest."I really think I've reached the limits of what beating up Spike can teach me."

Giles began to uses a nearby amulet as a worry stone.

"Oh, that reminds me," I began."From this point on, you will never physically harm Spike again."

Her eyes seemed to turn a darker shade."Why?"That one word seemed immensely heavy, like a lead weight being dropped into a well.

"He hasn't tried to blow up the world for a while, and it look's like he'll never be in a position to again.If you have to vent some rage, do it to something that's either an actual threat to humanity or lacks a nervous system.They're called punching bags, _Buffy_.Use them."If she got to keep my first name, at least I could bitch about it.

We were tragically denied what was sure to be a colorful response from Buffy, when Giles' makeshift worry stone snapped in his hand.

"Are you alright?" Buffy asked.

"Yes.I'm quite fine, thank you," he replied too quickly.

Spike tensed next to me.He apparently picked up on the same thing I did: Buffy was concerned, and Angel definitely wasn't buying it.

"You don't look well," he observed.

A light bulb went off in Giles' head."I suppose you're right.I've actually been feeling slightly ill.Perhaps something I ate."

"If you want, we can postpone the whole training thing for later, when you're feeling better," Buffy said.

"Oh, I don't want to trouble you.After all, everyone is already here."

"Giles, it's no trouble at all.Right, guys?"

The boys and I insisted that she was completely correct and that Giles' health was very important.I'd also like to take this opportunity to recognize Giles in the field of being brilliant.

At that moment, the bell hanging from the door beam chimed softly, and we turned to see a slow line of people march in.It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they were not costumers.

"Who the hell are you?"I didn't bother being polite.If theses bozos were going to rain on my parade, I wasn't going to waste the effort.

The first person that walked in looked at me like a dog that had done an interesting trick.He looked to be about his late thirties, with hair that might have been red once, but was now a dark auburn.His skin was a dark tan, but I was guessing that it was his natural skin tone.His background was definitely Anglo-Saxon, but somewhere along the way, a little variety had been thrown into the mix.

He looked from me to 'Buffy,' then settled on Giles.To him, the stranger said, "I'm assuming this is the Anne I've been hearing so much about."

His accent was cultured, snotty, and very British.With that voice, he would have made a great waiter at one of those fancy, overpriced restaurants.Somehow, I got the impression that this guy saw himself as above such a lowly position.

Giles nodded cautiously."You've been told to leave her alone."

"I believe that was the deal, yes," he answered.His face was so blank, he could have been a robot."We don't want to bother her, but this is a very interesting occurrence.Two versions of one Slayer.Two versions that are apparently very different.We just want to ask some questions.Compare notes.See how things went differently in her timeline.If we could see how even the most subtle changes effect timelines…Well, let's just say that the value would be immeasurable."

I waived my hand as if to flag him down.Once he was focused on me, I said, "Hello?I'm actually in this room, and in possession on a working mouth.Now are you going to answer my damn question, or are you just going to sit there and look cryptic?'Cause, honestly, I can waste my time on things that are far more fun than you."

Spike smirked beside me.

However, Coppertop was less amused.I'd apparently pissed him off.Good."I'm Luther Talbot."He turned slightly so he could gesture behind him."These are my colleagues, Sandra Blair, Jonathan Thatcher, Anthony Knight, Susan Norton, Timothy Walden, and Patrick Merryfaire.We're with the Watchers' Council," he finished with a finality that implied that the last fact was a license to be snotty

I looked over Carrot Top's buddies.They all seemed stamped out of the same private school teacher mold that produced Talbot.Not to mention that they all apparently shopped at Tweed's 'R Us.

Buffy cut in."Mr. Talbot, you aren't supposed to be asking her any questions.The Council is to leave Anne alone.That was one of the conditions for us taking your sorry asses back.I thought we made that very clear to you friend Mr. Travers."

"That's true," he replied politely.His voice carried the civility it was meant to, however his face betrayed him.Now, I'll give the Council points for this: they weren't stupid enough to send Quentin Travers again.Having him ask would have guaranteed an automatic _No_.That said, they should have sent someone that wasn't so condescending.He said the right things, but you could tell he thought we were pond scum.Then again, we weren't exactly being amiable ourselves.

"However," he continued, "we're not demanding anything.This interview is entirely for academic purposes.We like to keep detailed records, and that's what the Watcher's Journals are for.But we don't have your Watcher's notes.All we ask for is an accurate description of your earlier years as a Slayer.Nothing more."

Everyone looked at me, waiting for my response.I didn't like this at all.Option A:I tell him to sod off.I'd enjoy that immensely, but by the same token, it'd look like I'm hiding from my past.That would make me seem weak, and that was the last thing I wanted to look like next to Buffy.Option B:I tell intensely personal details about my life to total strangers.

I _really_ did not want to be here.What I wanted was to go home, snuggle with my undead boyfriend, and not deal with snobby, British prigs.I glared at Talbot and hated him.

"Let's make this quick."

The name of the previous business was down and the new one wasn't up yet.In the window there was a neatly drawn sign:

Coming Soon:

Angel Investigations

I happened to know that they'd be open for monsters in two weeks.Just a matter of getting the office fixed up and the permits finalized.I pushed open the door with one hand.

Everclear's _I Will Buy You a New Life_ blared out of the boom box and assaulted my ears.Across the room, Cordelia was wearing overalls and an old t-shirt, both of which were now covered in spots of paint.She stood on a high ladder, painting the back wall a light gray with one of those roller-brushes.I yelled her name, but she didn't hear over the music.I gave up, walked over to the stereo, and hit pause.

She turned around."Oh, hi… er…"

"Anne." 

"Sorry."She seemed sincere, so I didn't hate her for not being able to tell the difference.After all, unless you're close enough to see the scar, it's not difficult to confuse the two of us.Cordy pointed to the stereo."I hate painting, so I figure if I play it loud enough—"

"—The cops'll come by and inform you that you're creating a disturbance?"

She shrugged."At least then I'd have an excuse to take a break."

I did an overly fake Chinese accent."See good in bad.I like."

She put the roller down in order to focus more of her attention on me."So what can I do for you?"

"Actually, I need to talk with Doyle.Is he around?"

She nodded."Yeah, I'll get him for you."Cordy turned to the door leading into the back offices and yelled, "DOYLE!"

After a moment he came out, simultaneously saying, "You keep yelling like that, Princess, you're going to lose your voice."He noticed me."Oh hi, Anne.What brings you here?"

I have to say, I liked Doyle immediately.

"I wanted to know it we could talk."

"Sure.We've got some ugly, half-finished offices we can use."

"Great."I looked back up a Cordelia."You want me to turn the music back on?"

"Please."

I hit the play button on the way out and made a point of shutting the door behind us to muffle the noise.We were in a short hallway lined by various rooms.Angel was on a latter of his own, painting the walls a shade of gray that complimented the lobby.

He watched us come in."What's up?"

I answered."I just wanted to talk with Doyle real quick.I won't keep him long."

That seemed to satisfy Bat Boy, so Doyle and I went into the nearest room.There were a few of folding chairs clustered around a collapsible card table.A coffee pot was set up in one corner on a cardboard box, completing the makeshift break room.

Once the door was shut, he said, "I'd offer you some coffee, but I like you too much to inflict it on you."

That got a smile out of me.I sat down in one of the chairs."Thanks anyway.Er, this is going to sound weird, but what is Angel's last name?"

Of all the questions he might have been predicting, I'm fairly sure that wasn't one of them.But he answered it anyway."He doesn't really have one, but legally it's Liam.Why?"

"Legally?"

"Yeah.Now that he's human, he needs an identity.It took some doing, but now he has a birth certificate, driver's license, social security number, passport, credit history, the works."

"So you did all this?"

"Not personally.But I got the ball rolling.Creating new identities isn't easy, but it can be done.Besides, while I was at it, I was able to correct that tiny little thing were I was missing and presumed dead."He paused for a moment."OK, now I think I've earned the right to ask.What's all this about?"

I sat at the table across from the Watcher, who was fishing through his bag for something.His back was turned to the counter, where the boys were sitting on chairs stolen from the table.Buffy was to my left, and shared my fantastic view of the Y-chromosome squad.I'm sure she was enjoying the view just as much as I was.

Originally the plan was for the guys to leave, but I essentially pointed out the futility of it.After all, she'd just run off and tell Angel all the juicy bits later, so what'd be the point?Much to my delight, I killed two birds with one stone: I finally managed to get a rise out of her _and_ now Spike was staying.Truth be told, I really just didn't want to be left in a room alone with just Buffy and Annoying Prig Man.Asking for just Spike to stay would have raised eyebrows, so, whether everyone or no one, I was basically screwed either way.Nothing's perfect.

Though, admiring the platinum blonde hotness before me, I realized some things could get pretty damn close.

Talbot finally retrieved the tape recorder he'd been searching for, put on the table and hit record.He spoke to the machine, "Interview with Buffy Anne Summers.February, 2001."He looked up at me, then to the other me, then back."I'd like you to begin with some details of your early life, leading up to when you were called."

I stopped guy-watching and focused."Well, my parents were Hank and Joyce Summers.We lived in California up until I was sixteen."

"Siblings?" Talbot asked, jotting down notes in a legal pad.I was guessing that since he was recording the whole thing, he was either noting my facial expressions or doodling.I had my money on the latter.

"Only child."

"So you never encountered the Dawn situation?"

His wording sucked and I could tell Buffy was ready to do damage.Nice to know that the Angel-bliss was not unlimited.

"No."

Talbot dutifully scribbled down something."Continue, please."

"OK, well, I'd just turned sixteen and I was a sophomore in high school, when I was called.My Watcher's name was Merrick.We did the whole training thing for a while.It didn't last long.The local vamps got him."

"How did he die, exactly?"

"He shot himself.He didn't want to take the chance of them turning him."I looked at Spike when I said it.He met my gaze, then looked away.

Talbot glanced at Buffy for conformation."Yeah, that's how it happened."

I kept going."Fortunately, I got most of them when I burned down the school gymnasium.By that time, my parents were getting a divorce, and Mom and I were moving out."

"Where did you move to?"

"We didn't.I was patrolling one night, and while I was out a vampire went to my house and killed my parents."

I let it come out casually, like it didn't bother me.But it certainly bothered everyone else in the room.Talbot was about to ask another one of his dumbass questions, but I continued on before he could."Anyway, the Council took me into their custody and started to take me all over the place, killing stuff that needed killing.Apparently I wasn't very good at my job, 'cause shortly thereafter, it became common knowledge that vamps and supernatural stuff existed.A lot of places got nighttime curfews.In some areas, it was like the vampires had just totally taken over.It was bad."

Talbot asked several questions about the whole insurgence of supernatural activity, and I answered as best I could.Finally I neared the end."Anyway, it was early December '98, and I was in Cleveland, when my Watcher got a phone call from him."I pointed at Giles, who blinked in surprise.

"Let the record reflect that Miss Summers has indicated Rupert Giles," Talbot said to the machine.

I ignored him."Anyway, he was all upset about some girl dying, and had raised hell until they agreed to send me down.So I went.It turns out that it was Cordelia that had died, and Giles seemed to think that she had made a wish to some vengeance demon or something."

"Anyanka?" Giles asked.

"Yeah.How'd you know?"

Buffy answered."Anya is short for Anyanka.She lost her power center and became human."

Color me surprised."Weird…Well, Giles said something about the possibility of fixing everything.I personally didn't see what I was supposed to do about it, but he mentioned this head vampire guy and where he lived.I figured, I was already in town, so I might as well make myself useful.I went to evil HQ, which, by the way, was the Bronze.Looked a lot different.There were cages hanging from the ceiling, and stuff like that.The funny thing was, it was totally deserted.Just to be sure, I checked downstairs, and that's when I found him."This time I gestured to indicate Angel, who did an accurate recreation of Giles' previous look of shock.

Talbot one again clarified 'him' to the tape recorder, and I kept on."They had him chained to the wall in a cage.It was really weird.He acted like he knew me or something.He said he knew where they were, so I let him go, and we went.There was this big fight, and the next thing I know, I'm here."

Talbot put his pad down and leaned forward.I glanced over and saw that it _was_ a doodle.A stick figure me was stabbing another, fanged stick figure.I tried not to laugh when I met his face.

"So you just disappeared in the middle of a battle?" he asked.

"Yeah, pretty much.I was heading toward the head vamp.Particularly ugly one in desperate need of some skin care products."

"Did you notice anything unusual about this particular battle?About this vampire?"

"Apart from the fact that my back up was undead?Not really.The vamp looked like an overgrown bat.That's pretty much it."Talbot was on the verge of more questions, but I stood up quickly."Well, that was fun, but I'm really tired now.I can't tell you just how much I love being debriefed."

I was about half way to the door before Talbot got over his surprise and said, "But we-we're not done."

I shook my finger like Jim Carrey in _The Grinch_ and replied, "Wrong-O."

Life is full of unexpected, little bonuses.On the way to Spike's, I found an abandoned superball near the playground, much to my delight.Now I was currently engaged in bouncing it off the wall of the crypt, over and over.The ball flew into my hand.I tossed it right back, where it hit the wall, ricocheted, hit the floor halfway to me, then flew back to my hand.Thawk, thunk, catch.Thawk, thunk, catch.

"What are you doing?"

I looked up at him."Oh, you're back.I didn't hear you."He sat down next to me and I offered him the ball."You can try it for a while.I assure you it's mind-numbing."

"Which brings me back to my original question."

I shrugged."I was bored and had nothing to do, and patrolling wasn't very fruitful, so I decided to pay you a visit.Once I found out that you weren't here, I decided to wait for you to come back."

That made him noticeably happy."Since I'm here, now what?"

"Dunno," I said, and threw the ball again."This town is either too exciting or deeply boring.I'm not sure what is worse."

"Why don't you go to the Bronze with everyone else?"

"Buffy, Angel, and the others are already there.Which means that I'd be spending the whole night watching those two make gaga eyes at each other and brood over the fact that they're not together.No thanks.What I don't get is that if they're so into each other, why don't they just admit it and move on?They're so stupid."

He laughed."I told you not to put money on that pool."Off my look he quickly added, "But I'm sure we can find something interesting to do.We could go see a movie."

"You do realize what's playing now, right?"

"No.Why?"

"_The Grinch_.A squishy, sentimental movie, where the characters will periodically burst into song.It's about this guy that hates Christmas and is a overall grouch.But then he finds Jesus or something, and grows a heart.The End."

Spike stood up."Sounds like a movie in desperate need of being made fun of."

"Plus, the extra good news is that it's late, it's Tuesday, and it's way past Christmas.We should be pretty much the only ones there."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Training."A 'training session' was our term meaning 'make out session.'The etymology being that, for us, the latter had often turned into the former.

"Besides, I have a trick to get us free admission."

"Oh, and what would that be?" I asked.

"Pick the lock on the back door."

It took some doing, but I was out the door.Talbot was practically having hysterics over my departure, but Giles reminded him of their situation.Brownie points for Giles.I gulped in the fresh air.I would have to make time to thank him.I may confuse the heck out of the guy, but he takes care of me.At the very least, he beat the heck out of my last Watcher.

Someone put a hand on my shoulder.The stake was in my hand without me having to think about it.In one fluid motion, I crouched slightly to avoid any blows and turned, aiming for the heart.If it was someone I knew, I could always apologize later.

I stopped in time."Sorry."

"Tell me, exactly how many bad guys out there attack by touching shoulders?"

"Better safe than dead, I guess."I stared walking in the direction of home.Spike walked with me.

There was something in the way he was carrying himself, some set in his jaw.He had something to say.Or at least, I think he did.Sometimes I could almost guess what he was thinking, but other times I felt like I didn't know him at all.

After about a block of no dialogue, and after I had pretty much decided that I had zero knack for reading him, he spoke."Yow never told me about your family."

Oh me of little faith. "It was nothing I wanted to talk about."

"You could have said something to me."

He stopped mid-step, and at first I thought it was because he was angry.Then I realized we were outside my apartment building.I really should stop trying to read his mind.

"Your right," I said."I…I've spent the past two years with people that either wanted to kill me, or have me kill things.No one ever really cared about my feelings, or whether I even had them.After two years of not really talking about anything, it's…"Deep breath, try again.I gave him my very best eye contact."I trust you with my life, but I'm still learning to trust you with everything else.Nothing personal, just out of practice."

He didn't say anything to that.He did kiss me lightly on the lips and walk off, leaving me feeling like I'd done something very wrong.Knowing me, I was probably right.

It was another run of the mill day.Out of bed at seven, out the door by seven forty-five, and greeting customers by eight.It was a boring job, but—thanks to friends in management—it paid far better than any other retail job I could have gotten in town.Xander had offered to put in a good word for me with his boss, but construction held even less interest for me than cashier and stock girl.But, as the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining.Today was not a day that Anya was working.Not that I have anything personal against her, but for some reason she apparently doesn't like me much, which makes working together awkward.It probably has something to do with her recently finding out that I got paid more than she did, despite her seniority.I would like to point out that the salary thing was not my idea.I didn't even find out about the difference until Anya did.

The store was busy.For a town so ignorant of its Hellmouth, its residents certainly had a keen interest in magic paraphernalia.One enchanted statue, three ceremonial daggers, and countless mini baggies of salamander eyes later, someone interesting walked in the door.

I put on my overly cheerful, fast food restaurant, lets-be-nice-to-the-customer voice."Welcome to the Magic Box, may I take your order?"

Doyle smiled at that, and I smiled back, and the world was good.

I got off work at five, which gave me time to make my appointment.

I was dressed to kill, but not to slay.The pants were leather, a rich purple that was almost black.They accented my attributes, and hid my shortcomings.I had been drooling over them from the street side of the window display for several weeks.By the time I had the money saved to treat myself, they had gone on sale.Not only that, the last pair was in my size.It was meant to be.The top I was wearing with it was an intense, deep green.It was one of those backless things that laced up, translating into no bra.You had to be perky and not too well endowed to wear it.Fortunately, neither the top nor the pants overpowered my new 'do.'

The door was unlocked, so I let myself in.Spike was sitting Indian-style on the sarcophagus, nose in a book.He looked up, and—no joke—his jaw dropped.

He snapped out of it and said, "Would it be too much of an understatement to say that you look great?"

I smiled and stalked over to him."Whatchya reading?"

"_Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaban_."

At first I thought it was a joke, then I really looked at the book.

"What's the occasion?" he asked.

I handed him my spankin' new driver's license.He read off the name." 'Andrea Buffy Gellar.' "He looked back up at me."Does this mean I get to call you Andy?"

I thought on it for a moment."I can live with that.Doyle set up the whole thing for me.I've got a birth certificate, social, the whole nine yards."

"Yeah, but now you don't match your picture."

I did a little head toss and preened."You like it?"

"You look cute as a red head."

"Yeah, and you look cute with spiky hair."

Spike mimicked my earlier preening."Well, someone told me that I really should wear my hair spiky, so I thought, why not?"

I looked at him, really looked, for several beats.

It was time to move on.It had been time for a while.I may have a new life on paper, but that was meaningless.It was meaningless until I took that next step.

"Did she ever tell you about Pike?"

"No."

"Pike was a guy I briefly dated in LA.Resembled Luke Perry, and was kind of a cross between Oz and Xander.When I was first called, I didn't want to accept it, but he helped me.He made me face what I was."

"So what happened?"

Say it.

Say it.

"He killed my family."I tried for that blank nothingness in my voice that I had earlier with Talbot, but my voice cracked.And that one moment of hearing my voice break was enough.The whole dam I hadn't known existed crashed.

He let me pretty much sob against him.Two years of neglected grief spilled—no gushed out in a flood.His arm was a cool, comforting presence on my back.I have no idea how long he held me like that.Once I had calmed down a bit, I heard him say softly, "Thank you for trusting me."

I sat up, a wiped half of my face with the back of my hand.Good thing I skipped mascara."Thanks for letting me wail on you like an over zealous drama queen."

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone.It might ruin my reputation as the Big Bad."He took my face in his hand, in what was becoming a familiar gesture.He used his thumb to dry the side of my face that I had missed."I love you."

We kissed, and it was beautiful.

He charged at me, and I jumped back, simultaneously kicking in midair.Spike ducked just in time to see my foot contact with the space his head used to occupy.My momentum sent me back a few extra feet, and I landed lightly.It was a slow kick, giving him time to figure out where I'd land, and attack that spot.He didn't disappoint.The first roundhouse was aimed at my waist level, and I backed out of it's path.He used the spin he'd acquired with the first kick to go for a reverse roundhouse, this time aiming for the head.

I caught his foot in my hands, nanoseconds before it would have knocked my temple.I sealed my hands around his ankle and pulled.It worked better than I'd hoped.He was still surprised by my grabbing his leg, and I was able to throw his balance.I let go just as he crashed to the ground in a graceless heap.

"Oww."

"I didn't hurt you did—"He swept my feet out from under me, and I fell onto the dirt floor with an audible oomph.

Before I could react, he had straddled my waist, reared his head back, and made to bite me.His mouth was less than an inch from the skin of my neck."Game over, you lose."

"Look again."

Maybe it was what I said, or maybe he just registered the pinching sensation on his chest, but he looked down to the stake I had over his heart.He stared down at me for a moment, then realized the position our bodies were in.Spike quickly tried to stand up.

On impulse, I reached for him, and pulled his mouth down to mine.He let out a sound of surprise, but didn't fight.He opened his mouth to me, and we took turns carefully exploring each other.Somewhere along the way, it became less and less careful.I could feel certain parts of his anatomy becoming very happy with the situation.What should have been very embarrassing was very suddenly not.Heard myself let out a groan, and pulled his shirt out of his pants so I could slip my hands underneath and run my hands over his bare chest.

He pried his lips off mine, and gave me major eye contact."Are you sure we should be doing this?"

I was sure.

My universe narrowed to just the sent of him enveloping us both.A pleasant, appealing smell now that I'd gotten him to lay off the cancer sticks.I remember telling him that I loved him, and hearing him say my name.

But it was the wrong name, and I realized it wasn't Spike that said it.I froze and looked up past us, just in time to see him run off at full speed.

"Oh crap, not again."

To be continued…


	5. Busted

Busted

Episode 5

Busted

"Buffy moved cautiously through the dark and dripping underground passageway, gripping a wooden stake, knowing she had to destroy the hideous creature before it destroyed her.The creature was close by; she could feel it.

"Eliot could feel it, too.In the excruciating tension of the moment, he had suspended, temporarily, the chewing of his Cheez-It. The small damp orange square rested uneasily on his tongue."

—Dave Barry

Big Trouble

Opening Note:It is a well known fact that sex sells.The only exception that comes to mind would have to be those nasty, Riley-Buffy rabid-weasel shagging scenes, which made one inclined to change the channel and watch XFL instead.Thankfully, this does not look like a problem we will be facing again, anytime soon.One can hope.

Anyway, back to the point of sex and it's ability to sell stuff.With that in consideration, that is where I chose to end the last one, and were I chose to begin this one.If you are one of those scary fundamentalist people, go do something that doesn't involve reading this story.Spare us both the trouble.

In conclusion, Joss Whedon, if you are gracing this lowly fan fic with your divine presence, I would like to say that you are God off all things cool and Buffy, except when you are killing off lovable characters and making Buffy and Riley have sex.

Thank you, and now for you're regularly scheduled fan fic:

Tranquil Vista Memorial Park:

Spike's Crypt

For Andrea Buffy Gellar, the recent realization that she was in love with Spike was something of a surprise.For the past few years she had operated under the conclusion that she would live a brief life, featuring slimy monsters and negative zero boyfriends.Never did she once think that she would fall in love with a vampire, but given her doppelganger's track record, it almost seemed that they had genetic disposition to fall for the undead.

Andrea never thought much about that anymore.All that mattered to her at the moment was that whenever they made love, nothing else existed beyond the knowledge that she was no longer alone.Unfortunately, she soon became aware that she was no longer alone in a very different sense.

Looking beyond themselves at the retreating figure, she said, "Oh, crap, not again."

One Day Earlier... 

The Bronze was definitely a cool place to hang out.Live music, dancing, decent food, and pool, if you liked to play it.It was about as casual as casual got.But tonight was not about casual, and so they were not at the Bronze.

Obsidian was not casual in any sense of the word.Nor was it in Sunnydale.If traffic was good—which it wasn't tonight—a trip from Sunnydale was forty five minutes one way.Tonight it was an hour and a half.But Cordelia didn't mind much, because they were going to a nice restaurant, and it gave them more time to play the game.

The PTB's had given Doyle a get out of being dead free pass, so he could play messenger boy.Normally, they'd just have wiped his memory of the great beyond, but because of the message that wasn't an option, so they fell back on Plan B: Threats.The Powers were kinda funny about mortals finding out the secrets of the universe's inner workings, and they were particularly funny about mortals finding out, then blabbing about it.Of course, there were crazies by the dozens that were raving about what the afterlife was like.The Powers just didn't want people in the know doing the babbling, so Doyle was ordered to keep is trap shut.

But Doyle _was_ only human, or human enough, and the PTB's recognized that everyone makes mistakes.So, as Doyle once accidentally let slip, there was a loophole.If he gave away something small, and unintentionally, and he didn't do it too often, they would let it slide.A little bit.And that was only because they liked him.

Thus, the game.Cordelia was constantly prodding for details, trying to trick Doyle into letting something slide by, and Doyle tried to keep things from her.It was perhaps the only relationship in the world where keeping secrets actually drew a couple closer together.

"Did you see that episode of _Crossing Over With John Edward_ last night?"They were stopped at a red light long enough to make an immortal impatient, but when concentrating on the game, Cordelia's tolerance was boundless.

Doyle's concentration was split between driving and Cordelia, so his patience was a little less boundless."What's that?"

"Oh, I forgot.That show came on after."'After' was sorter and less painful than 'after you died.'"It's this guy that says he can talk to dead people."

Green light."What, like in _The 6th Sense_?"Cordelia had rented it so that they could watch it together.They had laughed the entire way through it. 

"Yeah, only less scary," Cordelia said.

"Humm."

"It's weird.He can tell all this stuff about these dead people, that he couldn't possible know…Unless he actually _can_ talk to dead people."

Doyle shrugged and put on a turn signal."He could just be reading their minds."

"But why would a telepath claim to be a necroscope?Wouldn't he just say he was a telepath?"

"Necroscope?"

"Someone who can speak to dead people," she said.

"Oh.Well, I don't know."

"Do you think he could be for real?"

Doyle turned into Obsidian's parking lot."We're here," he said.

Cordelia smacked his arm lightly as he pulled up to the valet."You're changing the subject."

"Hey, I didn't realize they had valet," Doyle said, changing the subject."Just how expensive is this place?"

The doors were opened for them, and Cordelia stepped out like she'd been having car doors opened for her every day of her life."Just how much do you love me?"

Doyle's dismount was somewhat less graceful.He walked around to join her at the entrance.A red carpet led to doors guarded by bouncers that could be models."Cordy, that is _not_ fair."

"OK, you tell me about the afterlife, and we can go somewhere else.And don't tell me that's it's full of dead people.Tell me something I don't know."

Doyle took her hand and led her inside."It can't be that expensive."

It was that expensive.But he loved her that much and far more, so he dealt.The food was fantastic.Doyle had ordered frugally.Soup, the salad that came with it, and water.He was driving, so no beer.It was the biggest sacrifice of the night.Surprisingly, Cordelia ordered light too, and Doyle spent most of the meal trying to decide if it was because she didn't want to spend so much of his money, or she wasn't really hungry.He preferred the former, because he tended to assume the best of her.

"You know what's really weird?Ever since you came back, I haven't had a single vision."She tilted her head skyward, as if addressing the ceiling."Not that I'm complaining."She looked back at Doyle.

He fidgeted.Ever since he'd come back and she'd slapped him, Doyle knew that he'd have to deal with the vision topic eventually.It was something they'd both been avoiding, and for too long."Cordelia, I am so sorry I placed that burden on you.I remember how much I hated them, and I would _never_ have deliberately inflicted them on you.I mean, I felt something, but I was about to die, and…"He stared off into space for a moment, as if there were some teleprompter that only he could see, giving him the right words to say.He shook his head and reached forward for her hand."I'm sorry."

Cordelia took his hand in both of hers."Doyle, they were painful, but they were never a burden.Those visions were like having a part of you still around, in me.They gave me a purpose in life I didn't have before.Now, with Angel human and all, I almost miss them—"

They screamed in unison.The force of the vision quite literally threw Cordelia back, and she fell backwards out of her chair.Unfortunately, Doyle was distracted by his own vision and holding on to Cordy, so he was pulled forward into his overpriced soup.

Several snotty waiters hurried over to help them to their feet and clean up the mess.Cordelia pushed them away and got up on her own power.She looked up at the ceiling again."I said _almost_!"

"Are you to alright, miss?" Snotty Waiter Guy asked.

"Yes, I—"She looked at Doyle, who was wiping soup off his face and holding his head at the same time."—we suffer from epilepsy.The seizures usually aren't this bad, though.Must have been something we ate…"

The head waiter, who was currently fretting over Doyle, perked up his ears at the last bit.A word flashed through his mind.This word was lawsuit.He rushed to Cordelia."We are terribly sorry for this.You will not be charged for tonight's meal."

"Oh, that's not necessary," Cordelia replied instantly in a tone that said clearly the opposite.

The head waiter tracked down their check and tore it in half.

Doyle watched as Cordelia masterfully turned a nasty situation to their benefit, and was reminded of why he fell in love with her.

Valentine's Day was rapidly approaching.For the past few weeks, Angel had been looking forward to it with increasing dread.Partly it was the internal battle that had been raging inside him ever since he had become human: should he or should he not peruse a relationship with Buffy.Normally it would not have posed a problem.If Riley hadn't died, he could have vied against him for Buffy's affections guilt free, and Angel was fairly confident he would have won.But Riley had died, and things suddenly became complicated.Competing against someone who was alive was one thing, but competing against the Riley's memory seemed ignoble.A Valentine's Day alone, and in this kind of turmoil, would have sucked, not to mention that all of this would be magnified by memories of his actions one particular V-Day, when he was evil and had tried to kill Buffy.However, this was no longer the case.Angel knew now that even if Riley had been in the picture, Buffy would still choose him, and now that Valentine's was coming and he was finally dating Buffy, there were plans to be made.Something surprising, original, romantic, but not overdone.

Angel mulled over his options as he pulled out the keys to his apartment out of his duster pocket.As he did so, other thoughts popped into his mind.There hadn't been any visions ever since he had become human.Was this because there were never going to be anymore visions?Were they on their own?That was a big reason they had moved the business to Sunnydale.With the Hellmouth, there was plenty to do and less chance of "screwing up," as the Powers had put it.But without the visions to guide them, they hadn't really done a whole lot except assist the Scooby Gang.Was he already screwing up without realizing it?On the other hand, the Powers may just have been laying off to give him a chance to acclimate to being human.He doubted the last part.It was just too considerate of them.

Then there was Anne.She was hiding something and he had no earthly idea what it could be.Sure, she was keeping the details of her past a well guarded secret, but there was something else.Angel was half tempted to investigate, but there was something very wrong about spying on someone who was kind of a friend.Which was another thing that bothered him.Anne was Buffy in many important ways.He could usually understand Buffy's motivations, and sometimes he could almost fathom what she was thinking, but Anne was completely different.He'd gone out of his way to be nice to her, but she always seemed put off by it.He had not clue what the alternate Angel had said or done to her, but whatever it was, she was pissed off about it.

He was so lost in thought that he practically stepped on Spike before he noticed him.The vampire had been sitting on his doorstep, bouncing a superball off the wall.

"What are you doing here?"

Spike stared at him from the floor, not bothering to stand."I wanted to talk to you, mate."

"Spike, how many centuries is it going to take for you to get it that I am not your _mate_?"

"A little over one.I won't do it again."

Angel didn't believe him, but he let it slide."What do you want?"

He began to throw the ball again, as if to avoid looking at Angel while he talked."As you just thoughtfully illustrated, we've known each other longer than anyone else we know."

Angel thought about that for a moment, and realized dismally that it was true.Darla and Drusilla were dead.They were each other's oldest living acquaintance.He sighed."So?"

Spike caught the ball and held it."We're both on the good side of the Force.Neither of us are trying to kill each other.I say we tone down the hostilities."

"Oh, God," Angel groaned.He unlocked his door, stepped over Spike, and went inside.

Spike stood up and stared at him across the threshold."Look, m—Angel, I'm not asking for a friend—"

"Well that's good."

"—but, as much as I hate to admit it, we have more in common that we like to admit," he finished.Spike seemed to examine the invisible force keeping him outside."This conversation would be less awkward if I were inside."

Angel smiled from his side of the barrier."You know, this is an advantage I've never really experienced before.By the time I first found out about the existence of vampires, I was one.This is the first time it's ever come up since my transformation."He put his hand through the doorway, waved it around and pulled it back into the apartment."After two hundred years of being on the other side, this is really… cool."

"Well, I'm glad for you.Can I come in now?"

Angel made a big deal of mulling it over."Humm… No."

"Look, you mindless prat, I remember a time when you were just full of useful advise on how to be evil. Now all that's pretty much useless to me.You're better at this whole being good thing and I could use the help."

Angel couldn't have been more surprised if Spike had revealed a long hidden crush on Giles."You want me to give you tips on how to be a good guy?"

"Something like that.It's more like…OK, you know that Anne and I are friends, right?"Spike mentally crossed his fingers that Angel would interpret 'friends' by its denotation, and not read further into it.

"I'm aware that you two hang out," Angel replied cautiously.

"After that interview with the Council, I'm a little concerned about her."

Angel nodded."I hear that."

"So I figure, Anne's not Buffy, but she's similar in a lot of ways.You're practically a Buffy expert.I was wondering about you insights into the situation."

"You're concerned about your friend."

Spike shrugged.

"She must be some friend for you to come to _me_ for help."

"She's the only one I've got," he said."I really think that deserves an invitation.Besides, it's not as if I can hurt you."

"Yes, but you could come back one day and rob me blind or vandalize the place."

Spike glared for a moment."Then I guess you'll have to trust me."

Angel considered his options."Come in."

At least he was insured.

"I would offer you something to drink, but I don't like you that much," Angel said.

Spike ignored the comment and examined his surroundings.The apartment was very open.To the left of the door was the kitchen which was partially enclosed by a couple of walls.Beyond the kitchen was the apartment's only completely enclosed room, accessed by double doors, which Spike assumed was the bedroom.The main room was vaulted, the back wall covered almost completely with east-facing windows.A crescent moon was shining through now, but in several hours the whole apartment would be flooded with sunlight.Spike glanced at Angel, who was now lounging on one of a pair of leather sofas.Spike suspected correctly that those windows were the main reason Angel chose this apartment.For a second, Spike found himself envying the lucky bloke.

The main room was spacious.The right hand wall was covered in a built-in bookshelf, which was fully stocked with leather bound tomes.Where the bookshelf ended, a metal spiral staircase led up to a loft.The center of the room was empty except for the afore mentioned sofas and a coffee table between them.Spike's eyes flicked back across the room to Angel, when he caught something out of the corner of his eye.It was darkly colored, explaining why he didn't immediately see it.The furball was black with white splotches, much like a cow.Spike looked at Angel in shock.

"You have a furby?"

Angel rolled his eyes._Could this night get any worse?_On second thought, Angel decided that, yes, it most certainly could."It was a misguided Christmas gift from Cordy, so I can't get rid of it.I eventually had to take out the batteries just to shut the damn thing up."

Spike smiled."So the big, bad Angelus—the scourge of Europe—has a electronic pet.Hell, this'd make great blackmail material.Word of this gets out, it'll ruin your tough, he-man image."

"William, shut up and sit down."

Angel gestured to the sofa across from him, and Spike sat.Out of wise ass remarks for the moment, Spike contented himself with staring at his host.There was a laborious silence, which Angel eventually broke.

"What Anne told this Talbot person a few hours ago, how much do you think she's hiding?"

"I know as much as you do.She doesn't probe about my past, and I return the favor."

"Has… has she ever said anything about the me from her universe?"

"Nope.The only thing she's ever said about you is that she thinks you're an idiot and she doesn't understand what Buffy sees in you."Spike wisely didn't add any remarks about agreeing with her, but he certainly thought about it.

Angel furrowed his brow."That's nothing I haven't figured out already."

Spike decided to push his luck."When did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That you loved her."

Spike expected Angel to come back with some scathing response, but to his surprise, he answered the question."About thirty seconds after I first saw her."Over the course of their conversation, Angel had taken a key off his key ring, and was now turning it over and over in his hand.Spike recognized the gesture.It was something Angel often did when talking to someone he didn't particularly like.It gave the impression that he wasn't giving the conversation all of his attention, when the exact opposite was true.It was the closest thing to a nervous habit that Angel had.

"I never figured you for someone that believed in love at first sight."

He continued to rotate the key between his hands."Up until a few years ago, I didn't."He fixed his gaze firmly on the key."When did you know?"

There was a moment of blind panic.Angel was on to them.Spike was screwed."What do you mean?"

"You followed Buffy to LA.Now I know from experience that vampires, to varying degrees, have a psychic connection to their sire, but I know for a fact that your connection to Drusilla was not nearly strong enough for you to sense she was in LA.That means you went after Buffy."

So he knew about Buffy, and not Anne.Spike wasn't sure which was worse._Oh hell, no sense denying it_."I made an educated guess.Once I got to town, I headed for this demon karaoke bar.Since the demon knew who you were, I don't think I need to explain further."

"What song?"

"_My Way_.The Sex Pistols.And to answer your question, I don't know when exactly it happened, but one night I woke up and realized that I was in love with her."

Angel looked up from the key, which was now immobile in his hand.

"I suppose this is the part where you get pissed off and kill me," Spike finished.

"No."Angel put the key down next to the others."But if I ever hear about you putting the moves on her, I will." He was suddenly reminded of Riley."And if tomorrow or the next, something unfortunate accident were to kill me, and you move in on Buffy, I will come back and haunt you.I will haunt you in a way that makes the ghosts in _Poltergeist _look like Casper."

Spike held up his hands."Hey, I heard about what Phantom Denis did to the Riley demon.Besides, I've… moved on."He let out a small laugh."Speaking of which, what did you think of the Riley-goat incident?"

Angel stared at Spike blankly.

"Hey, even if I told Buffy—which I'm not—but even if I did, she wouldn't believe anything I would say."

Angel was silent for a beat."I thought is was pretty cool."

"Like I said, more in common that we like to admit."

Angel begrudgingly agreed.

By the time Angel was in bed, it was one in the morning.Somehow, getting sleep was easier when he was a vampire.Patrolling, unexpected Spike encounters, and other nocturnal activities that kept him up all night, plus keeping regular business hours, well, it didn't lead to eight hours of sleeping bliss.At least when he was a vampire, he had a good excuse for sleeping all day.Over the past month, he had gained a new respect for Buffy's ability to juggle school, slaying, and socializing.But the day was finally over, and sleep was at hand.

The knock was loud and insistent.

For a moment, Angel tried to delude himself into thinking it was noise from one of his neighbors, and for another moment he tried to pretend he wasn't home.The visitor would have none of it, so he rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes.After a short saunter to the door, he looked into the peep hole and groaned.He opened the door.

"Well, hey there.Boy, you look tired!" the Host observed cheerfully.

"You have a keen grasp of the obvious," Angel replied as he stepped back to let him in."What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

He didn't get an answer, because Doyle and Cordelia piled in after the demon.

Doyle was halfway through "Angel, we have a problem," when he noticed their demon buddy.He pointed to the Host."Hey, that's the demon from our vision."

"Doyle, the Host.The Host, Doyle," Cordelia said, gesturing to match her words.

The Host squinted at Doyle for a moment then extended his hand warmly, and Doyle took it."So this is the Doyle I've felt so much about."He turned to Cordelia."Hey, looks like life's been treating you well since we last met.It's about time the two of you hooked up."Then it was Angel's turn."So Angel, how's the human condition working out for you?"

Angel shut the door behind them and leaned against it."Fabulous.So what's going on?"

The demon looked indignant."What?Is it so far fetched that I came by to see how my friends are doing?"

"No, except for the fact that you were in a vision…"It was almost possible to see the light bulb go off in Angel's head."Wait, who had the vision?"

"Both of us," Doyle replied.

"Simultaneously," Cordelia said.

"Yeah, those wacky Powers, they have a bizarre sense of humor."

" 'Bizzare?'Doyle, I think the word you're looking for is 'painful.' "

"Guys," Angel interjected, "what was the vision?"

"Oh."Cordelia looked at Doyle.

"You tell him, Princess."

"A vampire has entered our plane of existence through a portal in LA, near the Host's bar, and is heading this way.He looks like he's on a crush, kill, destroy."Cordelia thought for a moment."Oh, and he kinda looks like Luke Perry," she added.

The Host nodded."He came into the bar, and he even had a guitar with him.He did a number, and I tell you, that is the first time I've ever wanted to flat out lie to a customer about what I saw."

"What did you see?"

The demon got noticeably uncomfortable."He wants to kill Buffy."

Insomnia.Sleep was coming no time soon to Buffy Summers.She turned over putting her back to the window.She briefly considered getting up and visiting Angel, then she remembered that he wouldn't be awake now.Even after all this time, she often forgot that he wasn't a vampire anymore.But now that the idea was in her head, she wanted him to be here badly.Anne was unnerving on multiple levels, and that interview hadn't made lessened that feeling.Buffy had tried to imagine what it would have been like to lose her entire family, and quickly gave up.She suddenly felt like pond scum, and she wasn't even sure why.Which made her want to talk to Angel even more, for nothing else than to get everything off her chest.

She got up and went to her closet.Between two Slayers, Angel, Spike, the Scoobies, and Angel Investigations, supernatural activity had been virtually non existent for the past month or so.If you were a bad guy in Sunnydale, well, sucks to be you.She'd be lucky to get two of them tonight, but a the very least the fresh air would do her good.Either that or aggravate her allergies.Buffy dressed grumpily.Plain blue jeans and a t-shirt for the Goth band Slayer.She didn't really listen to their music.In fact, she didn't even like their music, but wearing the shirt on patrol gave her a wonderful sense of irony.

She paused for a moment and stared down at the bottom of the closet.The floor was taken up with a laundry hamper, miscellaneous stuff, and a trunk.Unbeknownst to most, the trunk had a false bottom, a relic from the days when she had to hide her weapon stash from her mother.She still hid stuff there today, just not to conceal her identity.She knelt down and lifted the bottom of the trunk to expose a black leather jacket, neatly folded.She pulled it out and looked it over.Before she even knew the truth about what he was, Angel had given it to her.For months after, she'd worn it around like it was superglued to her body.The jacket had been delegated to the trunk a few million heartbreaks ago, and she'd avoided the false bottom ever since.Even Willow had no idea she still had the thing.

Buffy put it on, finding to her delight that it still smelled faintly like him.With a smile, she grabbed Mr. Pointy and headed for the window.Her hand was on the window sill when her spider sense began to tingle.She opened the window.Without looking outside, she said, "Whatchya doing out there?"

Angel climbed up into view."I need to talk to you, but I didn't want to wake up the whole house…How did you know I was here?"

Buffy swung one leg out the window, then joined him in the tree."I'm psychic.What's up?"

"I think you're in danger.Cordelia and Doyle had a vision, and the Host's in town.Both of them agree that there's this vampire that's out to kill you."Angel let himself fall from the tree, Buffy right behind him.

"Wow, I feel sixteen again," Buffy said.

"What?"

"Me escaping through the window, you giving me vague warnings about some mysterious bad that wants to kill me.It's like old times."

He smiled."I'd apologize for coming so late, but I just found out and it looks like you were already heading out and… that's a nice jacket."

Buffy did a hair toss."Oh, this old thing?I only wear it when I don't care what I look like.Anyway, I couldn't sleep and I figured I'd get some slaying in."

"Well, The Host is staying at my place tonight and he sings in his sleep.'Creepy' just does not cover it.And given that there is something out there that's trying to kill you, maybe I should go with you.Not that I don't think you can handle yourself, but, you know, back up is always good."

Buffy mentally noted that Angel was particularly cute when he was doing his nervous babbling thing.

Tranquil Vista Memorial Park was closer, but neither of them particularly felt like running into Spike, so they went to Weatherly instead.It was smaller than Tranquil Vista, but it was newer, and that meant more fresh graves.Fresh graves meant fresh vampires.Fresh vampires meant stupid vampires, and stupid vampires were Buffy's favorite cannon fodder.

"So this vampire, what do we have on him?"

Angel shrugged and scanned the horizon for movement."Not much.He came in through a portal, and he wants to hurt you."

"Story of my life." 

Angel winced slightly at that.The question of his own mortality had never really worried him much.Two and a half centuries were a good run by any standards.However, Buffy was an entirely different matter.By Slayer standards, she should be getting the senior citizen discount at Sun Cinemas.The thought of his own death didn't bother him, but Buffy…It was not something they talked about, but the thought was always there, hanging in the air like a dark, portentous cloud.He didn't care how selfish it was, he hoped that he died before her.He wouldn't be able to live with the grief.

To make a long story short, Angel was brooding.

"Wow," Buffy said, breaking him from his trance, "it's the serious thought face.What's on your mind?"

" 'Ships, shoes, sealing wax, cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.' "

Buffy stared up at him."Angel, I know you're well read, but I doubt you were brooding on _Alice in Wonderland_."

"_Through the Looking Glass._"

"Whatever.Come on, if you can't talk to me, who can—"

Timing is everything, which is why a figure burst through the nearby shrubs and attacked Buffy at that exact moment.Within seconds, Angel grabbed the figure around the waist and tossed it off of Buffy, allowing her to go for her stake.

"OK," she said, shaking herself off, "that was sneaky…"

It was Harmony.

And Buffy was annoyed."What are you doing?Do you have some kind of death wish?Go pester Spike."

She didn't seem to understand, her words coming out in a dizzying stream."Look, I'm not a vampire.I'm Lilah Morgan.I was at the office one day, and then I was somewhere else, in this body, and I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know _who_ I was, but I heard that Angel was here and… God, I need your help—"

Harmony's body crumpled into a pile of dust.Buffy turned back to Angel, brushing off the remnants of the vampire from her jacket.

"Uh, Buffy, I think she was telling the truth.I knew someone in LA with that name."

"Ohmigod!I didn't realize!I didn't mean to… Was that a _person_?!"

Angel tried not to laugh."God no!She was a bad guy."

Buffy gave him a puzzled look.

"A lawyer," he elaborated.

"Oh."She thought on that for half a moment."Well, OK then."

"So Lilah Morgan was in Harmony's body?And Harmony is… was a vampire?"Just when Cordelia thought the universe couldn't hold anymore weird surprises for her, the universe came out and surprised her. 

"She got bit at graduation," Buffy explained.

Angel had been leaning against his desk next to Buffy.Now he stood and began to pace."I can't think of any other explanation.Even if Harmony knew Lilah, why would she come up with _that _story?"

Doyle nodded in agreement."Yeah, no one's dumb enough to think that'd fly."

"That's only because you've never met Harm," Cordelia said listlessly.

"I thought she was your friend," Doyle said in a tone that made it more of a question.

"I hung with her because she was rich, she could dress, and I was shallow.Doesn't make her any brighter."

Angel held up his hand to stop the conversation. "Body switching is a low priority right now."He turned to the demon."So when this vampire sang, what did you see?"

The Host was more interested in his coffee than Angel's question."Do you guys have anything besides bean juice?"

"We've got root beer," Wesley said.

"That sounds good."

Wesley tossed him a can across the room and the Host caught it deftly.He put it on a nearby pile of papers to let the carbonation settle down and answered the question."He's from Earth, just not this one.He knows Buffy, and wants her dead.That's about it."

"That's it?No name?"Buffy asked."You just looked at me and knew I was the Slayer.He sang and that's all you got?"

"Hey, sister, this isn't a science.You have an open personality.He didn't.I guessing he was a musician of some sort, because he was very comfortable on stage.Unlike Angel—who has what borders on a social phobia—singing didn't embarrass him, so he didn't reveal much."

"You said that you wanted to lie to this vampire," Angel said."What exactly did you tell him?"

"That if I were him, I'd stay away from the Slayer.It's good advise, and it's true."He frowned."But I don't think he listened to me."

"Great."

Doyle checked his watch, then stood, grabbing a manila folder on his way to the door."Guys, I've got to go out and deliver this.I won't be gone long."

"Deliver what?" Angel asked.

Doyle gave an absent shrug as he pushed open the door."Can't say.Client confidentiality."Then he was gone.

Angel whirled on Cordelia."Client confidentiality?I was under the impression that his clients were my clients."

"This client specifically requested that you not know of their business.I wouldn't sweat it, though.You're gonna find out eventually."

"Cordelia—"

"So how 'bout that vampire!" the Host interrupted, bringing Angel's attention away from unwanted areas.Cordelia flashed the demon a grateful look.She wasn't sure how much he'd been able to sense, but she was thankful all the same.

Several Hours Later...

Wesley took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb."OK, the main problem I see with the time travel scenario is that, why now?If he's someone from the future, why would he attack now, when we have two, coming on there Slayers in town, in addition to everyone else.Why not go back further and kill her before she was called, like as a child?"

Angel had been twiddling with one of their business cards with the quasi-lobster-butterfly-angel scribble.Now he looked up, appearing for all the world to have just been hit over the head with Newton's apple."Host?"

The demon grunted from behind his fifth root beer.

"You said he was from a different Earth.Did you sense _which _Buffy he wanted to kill?"

The Host's eyes widened."There's more than one?"

As the idea began to take form in everyone's mind, Angel gave voice to it."This guy didn't move backwards in time, he moved _sideways_."

"So he might be from Anne's universe," Buffy finished.

There was a moment of collective revelation and panic, ended by Wesley reaching for the phone and dialing the Slayer's number.

"God, it's so obvious," Buffy said to no one in particular."Why didn't we think of it before?"

There was a uncomfortable moment of collective feeling stupid.

Wesley hung up, or rather, slammed the phone."She's not answering."

"Maybe she's out patrolling?" Buffy said."It's dark out."

"Is it her night to work at the Magic Box?" Wesley asked.

"It'd be closed by now, and I doubt she'd be there," said Buffy.

Angel had an awful thought.He went to the coat rack and grabbed his duster."Wes, call there anyway and keep trying Anne's.When Cordy and Doyle get back, catch them up, and have them get Giles."

Angel didn't tell them where he was going.He did this for a few reasons.It built suspense, someone would ask him anyway (he was betting on Buffy), and, on his way out the door, he could hurriedly say something cryptic over his shoulder, which would look cool.

"Where are _you_ going?" Buffy asked.

"To check with a friend," Angel said hurriedly on his way out the door.

Six minutes later...

Cordelia and Doyle had been successful in Operation Get Food.In between bites of her doughnut (Slayer = high metabolism = eats whatever she wants), Buffy told them everything they had missed.They accepted the upgrade from yellow to red alert, right up until the part about Angel's departure.

" 'Check with a friend?' " Cordelia repeated."What's that supposed to mean, unless… they're not a Scooby…"

"… or they're _Anne's_ friend," Doyle said.

Cordelia and Doyle made eye contact and telepathically shared an idea: _@&#¥£_L_π%$!_

"What's going on?" Buffy asked. 

"Nothing," said Cordelia and Doyle.

Buffy was well aware that through years of language development, _nothing_ in this context had evolved to mean _something_, but she was unable to question them further because they ran out on their mission to get Giles.

When Giles had heard about Wesley's copy of _The Writings of Armashkhan_, his first thought was insane jealousy.His second thought was that he must get on better terms with Wesley as soon a possible so he could borrow the book.Surprisingly, once the two of them put the unpleasantries of the past behind them, Giles found that they had many things in common, such as a strong dislike for the Council, poor relationships with their fathers, and a great love for really old books.

Within a week, Giles was able to take _Armashkhan_ home, and he was reading it with delight when the phone rang.

"Hello," he said absently into the receiver, still half-reading.

"Giles!" Cordelia yelled from the other end of the line."We have one, possibly two, potentially catastrophic problems on our hands.My assessment of the situation is that we're screwed."

Angel may have once been a soulless demon, but he did have standards.Even back when he was evil, Angel had never possessed any desire to live in a crypt, cave, abandoned warehouse, or any place that had any of the characteristics of Spike's lair.Lair was the only word for it, as it was ugly and Spike lived there.

He kicked in the door without a verbal warning.According to Buffy, it was kind of a tradition: when visiting Spike, ignore etiquette and just barge in.Angel decided to observe this tradition after Buffy told him that it annoyed Spike.

The room appeared empty, but Angel could hear a faint noise, too faint for ordinary people to hear.Angel knew that some of the applications of his heightened senses where downright creepy.His friends couldn't help being a little unnerved whenever he smelled traces of blood yards away or recognized someone by scent, so he found ways of hiding it.If someone else had been here, he'd have come up with some other reason to explore the underground room.But he was alone, so he proceeded to check the basement for Spike and _holy cra—_

_ _

Angel reentered the office and went straight to Buffy."We need to talk," he said, then led her off to the back offices before any of the others could react.The first office was Angel's, and was identical to the other three, only his desk had significantly fewer knick knacks.He shut the door behind them, and a weight formed in Buffy's stomach.If something was upsetting him this much, Buffy almost didn't want to know what it was, although she suspected she already knew.Angel didn't sit down, so she didn't either, opting to watch him pace until he felt like talking.

Angel came to a complete stop."Buffy, it looks like Spike and Anne have been secretly…"Fidget."…dating."

A wave of relief.He wasn't going to tell her that Anne was dead.But…

Buffy frowned at him."What?"

To Be Continued...


End file.
